I know this has been pointed out, but...

He has no experiance in ever fighting anyone or anything

Nooooope! He can fight. You're an adventurer. Maybe you come from humble roots, but you are now a roaming mercenary who fights for money (and maybe a few other things). Make sure you can work with the rest of the party. Make sure you bring value to the group both in and out of a fight.

As for the character concept...

in a world with bards, there had to be critics too, right? So this character had a weekly column in some newsletters published from town to town (is that a thing?) and developed a reputation for being a snob. He barely ever hands out a score higher than 6 out of 10.

His only real talent seems to be intuitive analysis and articulate critique - skills that have helped him at what he does...

College of Eloquence Bard. Just don't play him elequent. Instead, use his great powers for "evil" (not literal evil). To tear down the art of others and crush the confidence of his enemies into dust.

When Giants attack, he makes them feel small.

When Gods rage, he gives a solid, "meh...6/10. I've seen better."

When Barbarians rampage, he makes them cry...

"It stinks!"