this post was submitted on 14 Feb 2026
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What dating apps are really optimizing. Hint: it isn’t love (theconversation.com)
submitted 1 day ago* (last edited 23 hours ago) by Beep@lemmus.org to c/technology@lemmy.world
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In the weeks leading up to Valentine’s Day, dating apps typically see a spike in new users and activity. More profiles are created, more messages sent, more swipes logged.

Dating platforms market themselves as modern technological solutions to loneliness, right at your fingertips. And yet, for many people, the day meant to celebrate romantic connection feels lonelier than ever.

This, rather than a personal failure or the reality of modern romance, is the outcome of how dating apps are designed and of the economic logic that governs them.

These digital tools aren’t simply interfaces that facilitate connection. The ease and expansiveness of online dating have commodified social bonds, eroded meaningful interactions and created a type of dating throw-away culture, encouraging a sense of disposability and distorting decision-making.

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[–] Calabast@lemmy.ml 26 points 23 hours ago (2 children)

Okcupid used to be good, before they sold out. Its where I met my partner. I was sad to hear it had enshittified.

[–] dkppunk@piefed.social 1 points 16 minutes ago

Yep, I met my partner through OKC just before they enshittified. I also had used it to meet folks when I travelled for work. I had a note on my profile that I travelled a lot and just wanted to see new cities and eat good food. Surprisingly, I had far more platonic meetups than creepy guys trying to hook up, which I stated I wasn’t looking for in my profile.

I was a very very early adopter of OKC. I remember when it was more of a social media website with quizzes and badges than just dating. I’m still friends with a few people I met there in the early days.

[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 3 points 3 hours ago

Same, I met a lot of people through old-school OKCupid. It was great.