/c/Vent: Vent about your life here

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I hate my life (thelemmy.club)

submitted 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago) by hayyy@thelemmy.club to c/vent@lemmy.world

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Someone please help me. Im drowning.

I hate my body.

My cousins are here for my brothers birthday tomorrow and they’re all in my sisters room enjoying time together like a normal happy family. And yet again I’m alone feeling like the piece of 💩 of the family.

I wish I actually felt at home with my family like they all do. I just feel miserable all the time and like I should just end it. I’m dependent on my family for a place to stay and I feel like such an outsider. I can’t join in. I’m the joke of the family. Everything is so confusing. And my body feels like shit. I just feel like a ball of poop more than a family member. I wish I could be happy when people are here but it makes me sad because I can’t join in. They think I’m a r*tard.

All I do is doomscroll and bed rot. I don’t even feel alive. I feel like a ghost. I hate the way I look. I just want to feel like I belong in my so called family. Every day is hell.

I wish I felt like I matter.

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[–] NABDad@lemmy.world 2 points 6 days ago

I don't know your situation.

I'm going to set aside sensitivity for a moment.

When you say you're ugly, are you saying like Sloth from The Goonies? Do small children point and scream? When you walk by, do dogs whimper and try to hide?

The reason I'm asking is because it sounds to me that you're internalizing lies and abuse you're hearing from other people.

There are things you can do to improve your mood as well as how you feel about yourself.

If your family makes you feel the way you describe, don't feel bad you can't join in. They suck. You're better off not associating with them any more than you have to.

Like others have said, put the phone down. Social Networking can be a cancer, and doom scrolling doesn't help anything.

Do you have a library nearby? If so, get a library card, pick out a book, and read rather than staring at your phone. If nothing else, it can get you out of your head for a bit.

If the weather is nice, head outside, find a park bench, and read your book there.

Another option: exercise. It seems crazy, but when you're depressed and you just want to sit and turn to soil, the best thing you can do without a prescription is force yourself to get up and move. If you can walk, walk. If you can run, run. Do jumping jacks. Rake some leaves, or shovel some snow.

All that crap is easy to say. I understand how difficult it is to do. I said it because you asked for help, and there's not much a bunch of know-it-all assholes on the Internet can do for you other than make suggestions.

You might need professional help, and if you do and you have access, you should avail yourself of that opportunity. There's no shame in it. It's no different than calling a doctor because you have an ear ache.

One thing I am absolutely sure of is that you don't deserve the pain you're taking on.

Let us know how you're doing.