this post was submitted on 05 Mar 2026
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Off My Chest

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Due to low self esteem and poor social skills, i dont usually approach women irl, also i fear im making them scaried or im bothering them. When i do, im usually rejected and i get really sad over this and i usually drink alcohol as a coping mechanism. All girls i approached in my life rejected me. I know im not entitled to relationships or anything and they have all the right to reject me, but i still get very sad over this, but i feel like using alcohol only makes things worse. I approached a girl at the gym, asked for her name, presented myself, i told her i considered her and her smile and voice beautiful, but ultimately i was rejected. I dont know if im overreacting or if its fine to drink in such occasions.

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[–] shittydwarf@sh.itjust.works 10 points 1 week ago

Ok, so you don't have what they call "the social skills" but you can learn them.

Your approach of the girl at the gym was all wrong. What you need is practice making conversation, and understanding if your conversation partner is interested, or if they'd rather be left alone. If it is the latter, you gracefully exit "Big gulps eh? Whelp see ya!"

It takes practice learning how to speak with people. No need for compliments and asking for numbers and hoping for a miracle. You strike up a light hearted conversation, and let it flow. You sense they're looking for the exits, you wish them a good day.

Booze? Forgetabout it. Start training yourself. Talk to everybody, get better at it, pay attention, get comfortable starting and ending conversations. You'll become more relaxed, comfortable, easier to talk to, funnier. No big rejections because you picked up on the vibe way before it got there.