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I think you're potentially looking at this wrong. They might be dependent.... Or they might be in COMMUNITY with their families.
If they're in their 40's their parents are in their 60's-70's. Is it possible these adults have a relationship of give and take where they each lean on the other for different things? Maybe her dad takes care of car maintenance for the family, her mom manages medical needs and she manages other aspects of their shared lives?
Although it's certainly possible, I find it hard to believe parents of a 40 year old are somehow coerced or guilted into an unfair arrangement.
Maybe we have different life experiences in this regard...
no dude. having your 65+ year old father do physical labor for you is dick move if you are 35. or asking him for money to pay your bills when you have a 150K job, but you want to spend your money on yourself.
don't worry, they are more than glad to let me know they have never lifted a finger for themselves their entire lives and they expect me to fill in as their father figure. because they are 'too special' to be functional adults and they are 'poor fragile women' who need a big strong daddy to pay their mortgage for them.
the parents aren't blameless, obviously. they have enabled their daughter's spoilt princess attitude, but as an adult it's a mark of maturity to grow up and stop the child-like interactions you had with your parents. you are suppposed to start taking care of them.
Forcing him to do physical labour is a dick move if you're 35. Your dad offering because he wants you to be safe and enjoys doing it? How is allowing him to do that a dick move? Sounds like the anger is coming from an assumption here.
I'm sure you have more examples, there are a lot of people out there that aren't very independent, I just don't think this was a good example because of that assumption. Also your language makes you sound bitter, which doesn't help your case.
No, it's coming from experience of dealing with people like this for years now. Who are enabled by a society that rewards victimhood and self-pity rather than shaming it.