this post was submitted on 19 Mar 2026
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This sounds shitty if you phrase it like that, but there is some profound truth behind that. Your financial health depends almost more than anything else on your ability to spend less than is available to you. Ideally, you will achieve that without hurting your quality of life by optimizing your expenses, and by mentally overcoming that widespread modern delusion that quality of life is measured in money spent.
But sometimes that isn't really possible, and at that point, even a minor reduction in standard of living can do wonders. Living as if you're just slightly poorer than your money says you are is a borderline financial superweapon. The peace of mind that comes from knowing a random life upset (Like suddenly rising gasoline prices because of another ill-advised military adventure in the middle east) is not going to ruin you tends to more than make up for the loss of luxury and convenience from living in a 10% smaller home, driving a 10% cheaper car, going to restaurants 10% less, and so on.
What's more, this is not a commentary on poverty. (Of course, poverty is a real problem. The growth in wages, especially on the lower end hasn't been keeping up with the cost of living for a while now, presenting serious systemic problems.) This applies on every income level short of ultra-rich. The stories from couples living on double six-figure incomes (USD) yet still getting deeper into debt every year just boggle my mind, but this a fairly common reality in some circles.
If you realize just how badly enslaved you are by your addictions to luxury, convenience and status, you can live a much more serene, and ultimately even much richer, life.
This is a lesson I wish I could teach other people in my life. I formed a polycule a while back and this has been the hardest part.
My wife and I both grew up on the poorer side. We got jobs and grew up faster than the rest of our friend group. Struggled through college together. Dealt with her eventually dropping out and being permanently unemployed because of a disability. Gave up on dreams like having children and taking vacations. I could sense that the housing market was rebounding in the mid-2010's so we cobbled together enough money for a cheap house in an relatively rough neighborhood, wkth a monthly payment we could afford comfortably. Hopefully pay extra to pay it off early and save on interest. Slowly transitioned from buying everything cheap to buying stuff that was better value, but still not getting expensive stuff. Didn't get a PS4 until 2019, and even that $199 slim model bundle with 3 games was still a significant purchase.
My career kept going and I hit 6 figures shortly after the pandemic. Which put our household in the top 1/3rd of income for our city. Still we stayed humble. Maybe go to a nice restaurant once a year. Order either pizza or Chinese or some other takeout once, maybe twice a month, as a treat. Paid off the student loans early. Took a couple vacations, but just long weekends spent in nearby cities we could drive to.
I learned to love the little things. Sitting on my porch on a summer weekend morning, the light filtering through the trees. Sipping some homemade iced coffee, eating some scrambled eggs. Watching the squirrels scurrying through the small bit of woods in my backyard, the birds flying from perch to perch, my cats chirping at it all from the window behind me. Playing guitar, not to make money or to try to be better than anyone else but just because it's fun to do. Catching up on old videogames I bought used years ago and never had time to play.
Then we formed a polycule with another couple. They're great people and I love the situation overall, but... They both grew up poor in the south, then moved to the Bay area and eventually started their own business. Then decided to move to a lower cost-of-living area and came to our small city. They make 4-5x what I do, probably in the top 5% of households in the city. They take a week long vacation roughly every 2 months, usually 1 or 2 of those trips each year being international. They usually go to an ultra expensive restaurant at least once a month. Go out to bars for drinks and order takeout a few times every week. Get their groceries delivered by one of those meal plan websites. Buys the latest AAA videogame on launch day. Watches movies in theaters as they come out. Constantly having packages delivering various trinkets and gadets and decorations.
The thing is... They don't seem happy or at peace. They're constantly searching for the next thing to buy. As soon as they come back from a trip they're talking about how to be more extravagant on the next one. They seem more interested in finding greener grass than appreciating what's under their feet.
I don't know who you think is living "at their means" in 2026. either they already live just below it to survive or just above it sucking on debt to keep up appearances at the office (so they are not fired as a result!)
groceries, rent, fuel, insurance, everything, has never been more expensive. worse it's not local to you, this is a world wide issue at the moment.
cost of living skyrocketed in mid 2024 and has only gone up since. what you are saying implies that people can "step down" from non-essentials, like we didn't already do that in 2020. I don't know anyone who has been able to live "at their means" since before covid.
I'm married to a engineer, our net income should be making us a nice cushion that makes sure neither of us have to worry. instead, we had to sell all of our cars, stop every hobby, go to leasing electric cars (as buying one is too expensive and cheap petrol cars like we had cost 4x what electric does per month...) and even after all of that...
still have to carefully decide what essential thing we are cutting out of the weekly food budget... I've eaten so much frozen chicken and imported fake honey & pb sandwiches in the last two years for most of my meals to feel nauseated every time I see a KFC... I still wonder how anyone below our income bracket can afford anything without litterally deciding they can never save any money... (and yes before saving 70% of our combined income is going to expenses.)
compared to 2018, when only 40% was going to expenses and we could enjoy life. this is just ridiculous. reality is far worse than people realise right now...