Plenty of criticism is handled without pointing out racist language, because that criticism does not contain racist language.
Bigotry is boiled into a large amount of our day-to-day verbage, and sometimes we become blind to it. Adding the suffix -tard to words for example has become common, but it is still tied to hurtful and demeaning language.
Suggesting someone "sucks a dick" is a common insult, but the insult here is the implication that the other person engages in sexual relations with a man, which is presented as a negative. While we do not think of this in the moment, that is still the root of the insult.
Such language is not tolerated on hexbear, and as a result users have gotten very perceptive of it. Could they be nicer at pointing it out? Certainly, at times it's a fair mistake to make, and at times - such as here - they're much too quick on the draw. However I think the context should be remembered, which is that Hexbear has had to deal with a wealth of wreckers, and as such a lot of users assume that a person that is hostile, negative and also uses language that could be perceived as bigoted and that language is used in a manner to insult (or what can be perceived as something meant to be an insult) then they end up assuming the worst at times. This is most certainly something that Hexbear users could do better at.
But being frustrated at having it pointed out is silly, just as it is silly to continue using that language after having pointed out it's problematic aspects.

This stuff is pointed out regardless of a user agreeing or disagreeing with another user - it is in fact unrelated to it.