I think I'm cis but I'm questioning my gender kinda, need advice (lemmy.ml)

submitted 2 years ago by Bicyclejohn@lemmy.ml to c/lgbtq_plus@beehaw.org

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I am very comftable with he/him pronouns. Always was but recently I noticed that while I don't go out of my way to use them I'm also fine with they/them pronouns being used on me.

It could be a phase but I'm not sure. It could also be that I tend to use they/them as an alternative in. I'm confused

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[-] StupySophie@beehaw.org 4 points 2 years ago

Some friends I know who feel similarly just don't bring it up and set their pronouns as 'any pronouns' when asked. can't say if it'll work for you but it's an option to consider.

It's important to know that experimenting is good! Even if nothing changes in the end you'll learn more about yourself as a person. It's always worth experimenting with your gender identity just to see what makes you happy and what doesn't, no matter what anyone else thinks

[-] Bicyclejohn@lemmy.ml 1 points 2 years ago

Thing is my friends don't believe in gender identity

[-] Starglasses@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

But they believe in boy/girl. Those are gender identities. Maybe they have to realize that gender identity is a newer term to describe something that has always existed. New vocabulary doesn't mean the concept was made up to fit the word. The words fit the concept.

Once they are comfortable with the idea of gender identities of boy/girl, they might begin to open up to these "new"(not new!!) ideas of not-quite-boy-but-also-not-really-girl or other combos.

I wish you luck. My journey of gender discovery was tough with people like your friends being all over the place. Children are the most accepting. Be safe. Find yourself <3

[-] Starglasses@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 points 1 year ago

To add: I don't identify by traditional gender. I am non-binary and I use she/her pronouns because that's what feels right. My doctor(!!) assumed I was they/them because of being non-binary. Even doctors are catching up on all the new knowledge we're spreading. It will take time for people to accept change.

Sex, gender, pronouns. They don't have strict combination rules. You do you!