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this post was submitted on 17 Sep 2023
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As with everything - discuss your game before you start playing it so that everyone is comfortable with the style of game you're playing. Acrimony stems from people believing they're playing different styles of game.
If you want to play a character who steals from the group or otherwise acts to the detriment of the group as part of their characterization - then make sure the other players are going to be happy with, and enjoy the style of game you're bringing to the table.
If you're designing a character who steals from the group or keeps loot for themselves, you have to ask yourself... are you making the kind of character that the other characters would want to travel with? If your character is just an asshole all the time, why would they not just... part ways with your character? In real life, would you hang out with someone who kept stealing your wallet or refusing to pay their share of the bills in restaurants or pubs? "I'm just roleplaying my character" yeah, well they're roleplaying their characters too... They're not all putzes, and if spott a raw deal you gotta be prepared for them to ditch your parasitic ass.
If you're relying on them keeping you around simply because it's a game and "it's not fair to exclude your character and it wouldn't be fun if they did that", then you have to be willing to make concessions too (like being open to a full loot share), because it's also not fun to have another character constantly taking all the good stuff for themselves.
Ask yourself if your fun is at the detriment of everyone else's fun. If you're making the game less fun for everyone else on the regular... are they going to want you in the game at all?
DnD adventuring parties are, at their core, a group of people who get along, working together, for their common benefit. If you are designing a character who "doesn't play well with others" it's important to understand that your character's personality is pretty antithetical to the game's core expectations.
Definitely, if you're considering contentious characters like this, also consider making a character with the capacity for personal growth. Maybe you start out solitary and paranoid, or greedy and secretive... but you grow to trust and work with these other people in time. Maybe they learn to be less selfish and make sacrifices for the group. Once these people have saved your life a bunch of times, maybe they realize things are more important than money. Character growth makes for a good story, after all, and that moment where your character makes that leap can make for a great story moment.. just... don't hold onto that growth for too long, because the character might be annoying before that realization.
People aren't rigid in their personalities. Yes, a lot of RPGs make you write down some traits on your character sheet, but if you view them as hard and fast rules that never change for an entire campaign, your characters will feel one-dimensional and shallow.
@DoodlePoodle has an excellent comic about this, that illustrates (hah) the point very effectively.
Always remember that the other player characters have agency, and opinions. If your character doesn't play well with others, those others have no obligation to play with them.
This is actually how I came (haha, if you know the rule34 he also did) into knowing about this comic.
Did he do a rule 34 of that one? Link?
Well, type in google rule 34 doodlepoodle and enjoy :)
Thank you, kind stranger
Happy to help.
This is all... * chef kiss. Couldnt have said it better myself.