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Is moving closer to your work not an option?
Unfortunately no, just bought a house
Wait…you just bought a house 1.5h away from your good paying dream job? WTF is wrong with you? Bail on the house, eat the loss and move closer.
Okay, that said, I was in your position 20 years ago. It wasn’t my dream job and it wasn’t great pay, but it was a field I was moving into and it was steady work. I found some land an hour away from my job and built my dream house from scratch. FF two years, I’ve got an 8 month old and I’m in your boat with the evenings and mornings and never seeing her.
After some number crunching I quit my job and opened my own business. In my first 8 months I made nothing. I burned through the 10k in savings and startup money and another 10k I’d made doing jobs. In my second year I grossed 60k - almost enough to replace my salary, not including any benefits. We were living off my wife’s salary for that time. By year 4 my wife quit her job to work part time for me (accountant) and rest of the time be with the kid. Got our asses kicked in 09 and spent all my salary on my employees (still had to drop one) and three years later things were okay but I closed the office and moved to work from home as a single consultant. The last decade has been wonderful and the clientele and self determination means I’m around for pretty much every event DD does. I’m still middle class (call it 75-80th percentile) - no new car in the drive, sold the dream home to move into a small 1960s house in town to get a better school district. Life is good and I’m glad I didn’t stay at my job.
I was lucky and nobody should ever underestimate how much luck goes into success. You having a good paying, enjoyable job. That’s pretty damned lucky. Think hard before rolling the dice but if you do - may the wind be at your back.
Bought the house more than a year ago, landed the job 4 months ago