this post was submitted on 21 Oct 2023
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Ideally? Reading history, camping, record collecting, guns. I've been wanting to start going to the gym, and learn how to ride horses from my in-laws who have a few and have offered to teach me.
In actuality? Not a whole lot. Depression and untreated ADHD make it difficult for me to do much of anything beyond doom scrolling and making myself fat with junk food. I have a hard time focusing on my reading, particularly when it comes to theory, which I desperately want to read more of. And I haven't been able to make myself go out camping in a while.
I feel like I'm getting stuck in a rut, like my body and mind are at cross purposes and the latter can't compel the former anymore. I'm not really sure what to do about it, but I don't really like myself right now, that much I am sure of.