Teen daughter - I might as well be an alien to her (lemmy.world)

submitted 9 months ago by mysoulishome@lemmy.world to c/dads@feddit.uk

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Posting this separate after my comment became so long…

I’m having a general panic that my 15 year old daughter does not need me at all and I do not factor into her life whatsoever. Try to speak to her and she teases me and brushes me off. Her girlfriend wrote my wife a lovely note how she and my son are so lucky to have a mother who cares about them so much. No mention or even nod to the fact that I exist. We parent as a team…the way she is raised and all of the love and support she gets is 50/50 in my opinion, although my wife has the direct conversations about relationships, sex, girl stuff because she doesn’t want to talk to me about that.

I suffered emotionally as a kid/teen and I have fought to get her therapy and medication, she went from being anxious beyond belief with suicidal ideation to pretty fucking happy nowadays…and that’s because I fought for that, based on my experience. I’ve given her the support I wish I had.

Anyway, I hope it’s just a phase and she will talk to me again someday without giggling like I’m just a weirdo. I know what it’s like to be a teenager, I have a lot of wisdom. I love the shit out of her. I hope it passes and we are super close again at some point.

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[-] ShaunaTheDead@kbin.social 4 points 9 months ago

My partner always talks about how her dad kind of just faded into the background when her and her sister were teenagers. Unfortunately he died very young and she expresses a lot of regret that she didn't reach out to her dad more before he died, but also some resentment that he didn't put in more of an effort to connect with her.

I'm not saying this to guilt trip you or put the blame on you, but just hopefully to encourage you that even though your daughter is a sassy teenager, that doesn't mean that she doesn't still need and want her dad to be part of her life. Maybe you just need to adjust your approach. Try to find an activity that you both like doing together, or take a bit of time to ask her about her day every day, even the mundane things. Learning about her life should make her open up to you and get more comfortable talking about things when you know the vocabulary of her life (like the names of her friends, in-jokes among her friends, that sort of thing).

[-] mysoulishome@lemmy.world 3 points 9 months ago

Haha I definitely try. I tell her she’s a smart, funny marvelous person pretty often. She rolls her eyes of course 😂

this post was submitted on 28 Oct 2023

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