It's the next day and it's on.

Two thousand years ago, was there an itinerant apocalyptic preacher in the area of modern-day Israel named Yeshua? Probably. There were lots of itinerant apocalyptic preachers at the time.

Are the stories in the New Testament about the character Jesus "true?" Even ignoring the fact that the stories themselves are often contradictory, most certainly not.

There's a "Jesus Protagonist" of the Bible, and probably a "Real Yeshua." If the former is in any way based on the latter, it's very loosely. The two are separate enough to be considered different. Kind of like how Abraham Lincoln is a Real Person, and Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter is a Protagonist Character.