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That I can relate to. It definitely slowed me down a little when I was looking at trying Lemmy out. I think with all of those sorts of concerns it is inevitable that there will be better and better support for making the onboarding process as easy as possible as time goes on. What sort of resource do you think would have made getting into Lemmy easiest for you?
What I've seen others recommend, and I think would have helped, is the ability to 'port' to another instance. So it can just be "Go create an account at lemmy.ml. Don't worry about the instance, we can always port later if you want".
I know now it doesn't really matter (and have accounts with all the big instances) but I agonized over what instance to join at the beginning because I didn't KNOW it didn't really matter.
The 'port' ability also seems like something that is just a good idea in general, so I believe that to be the best option (that I've seen).