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Wanting something desperately but not ready now? (lemmy.blahaj.zone)
submitted 10 months ago by onevia@lemmy.blahaj.zone to c/mtf@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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I think I'm struggling a bit on my self acceptance.

For example, I know that HRT is something I want. But I'm not ready for it right now. I have this strong desire to start it and start a more noticeable transition, but after looking more into it I got scared and dysphoric almost about the whole thing?

I have moments where I'm confident and want to move forward but also moments where I'm scared and it feels like too much.

Plus I feel like I'm running out the clock on my transition. I'm almost 30 and only came out to myself and my wife a month ago. I feel like I've wasted a lot of my life already in the wrong body and I feel like I need to play catch up almost.

I guess I'm wondering if these are common feelings people have when first starting off? Knowing that you want something for your transition but just not being ready yet. And this weird sense of time slipping away even faster than before? Almost like a mid life crisis... like a beginning transition crisis, lol

Just something I've been conflicted over the past week that I thought I would share with y'all. ❤️

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[-] Transtronaut@lemmy.blahaj.zone 19 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

For what it's worth, you're far from running out the clock. If you're still in your 20s you have a lot of life left to live and are lucky you've figured this out as early as you have, even if it doesn't seem like it.

I don't know what you've already done, but one approach is to try less extreme measures first and ease into it a bit. Clothes, makeup, mannerisms, pronouns, etc. You could consider stopgap measures like focusing on hair loss prevention/restoration as a way to buy time and feel like you're doing something concrete while you sort your feelings out.

Some of these themes also touch on topics discussed in this post from a while back - you may find some of the discussion helpful: https://lemmy.blahaj.zone/post/4266431

EDIT: Forgot to specify; these are definitely common feelings, if my own experience and internet-binging results are any indication. You'll get through it. ❤️

EDIT2: lol, I didn't see who posted this until now. 😅😭🤣

[-] onevia@lemmy.blahaj.zone 6 points 10 months ago

Girl, I love you 😂

Thanks for affirming my thoughts again and even linking to one of my old posts from my old account.

Like I've said before, I have days where I'm my new self and days where I feel like my old self and I think I'm just working on fully accepting this as I explore. I get ahead of myself with basically everything and forget to smell the roses 🌹

this post was submitted on 04 Nov 2023
50 points (100.0% liked)

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