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this post was submitted on 06 Nov 2023
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chapotraphouse
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im older and have been in a committed relationship for over 15 years so im not an authority here or anything but every relationship ive ever had came from a friendship first
i think people are starting to understand that love isnt always some magic "struck by lightning" thing but rather something that blooms from healthy relationships with all kinds of people
if you are sociable and chill you can befriend people and sometimes one of those friendships just levels up, or they set you up with someone because you are cool, or you do that for them this is how it has been done in so many cultures for all of human history if it aint broke dont fix it
A lot of contemporary people fixate on a deep memetic fear of "the friend zone" which simultaneously makes them dislike the idea of being friends with people they might theoretically want to have sex with and poisons the friendship in advance by embedding that assumption for where it must go.
its all the friendzone until its not
i was in a longterm relationship that started as a friendship, i confessed my feelings and got "friendzoned" i guess, but then i just chilled and stayed friends and didnt obsess or follow around the person like a pathetic puppy dog and continued to make more friends
eventually she grew feelings for me and we had an awesome young relationship that lasted for years we both lost our v-cards to each other and i wouldnt trade it despite it ending bitterly (long story)
either way, if she never developed feelings for me that would have been okay, too. we were friends. i wasn't just hanging around to fuck her.