I graduated with a bachelors in computer science around 4 years ago. Long story short, I was depressed, dysphoric, and suicidal throughout my college years and by the time I finished I didn’t want to do anything. I’ve been unemployed for the last 4 years but I’ve also transitioned, started taking better care of myself, and overall I feel much better.
Anyways, I need to get a job now. What kind of lies can I get away with on my resume to cover up the long period of unemployment? Should I pretend I started some sort of company and it failed? Pretend like I went on some backpacking journey in a foreign country? Do companies even check all this stuff?
I did do an internship at a big tech company several years ago, and I’m working on personal software projects so I can put that on my resume. Also, I’m in Amerikkka.
Sorry if this question has been asked here before 
These responses and question make me think I don't get jobs because I'm honest. What a fucking world lol. I'm putting "shit at lying on my resume" on my resume.
There’s a video from Yugopnik about surviving capitalism, and one of his words of advice is to lie on your resume, because everyone does it.
But also I’m neurodivergent as fuck and I get anxious lying about anything
Dude, fucking same. One tip from above I want to do is repeat your lie ad nauseum so you begin to believe your lies.
I swore to return to college and finish my CS degree but I'm going to pepper my github with a LOT of projects that I "made" by just copying youtube lol. That, and I have a cousin and an old acquaintance that work at Microsoft so when I do that I'll be a nepo hir...I mean, "network" for the job and make sure to exaggerate a little on my resume. Add an extra year to your old job, throw in a random job duty. It's not your fault porky is too picky to hire people these days.
Nothing wrong with using nepotism. The capitalists themselves aren’t “self-made”
Lie if you like. Don't lie about things you could be asked to do. Like if you say that you were in charge of doing a thing, as interviewer I may well test that.
As interviewer I don't or shouldn't give a shit about your history except to try to predict your future. If lying gets you past HR to get looked by the hiring manager, AND the hiring manager thinks you're a reasonable candidate for the role listed, then that is a win.
Good luck!
Self-aware nepotism is the best nepotism
Fellow ND, it's almost impossible for me to pull off a lie.:/