Also yes, windows breaks things sometimes as well. But my Linux install has broken over 5 times in the year and a half I’ve been using it.

I have 1 desktop and 2 laptops running Arch... in the last year, none of them have broken. In the last 5 years a few have broken a total of 4 times, and were back up and running in < 15 minutes. I have 3 servers running Debian, none of them have ever broken in the 5+ years I've ran them. The wife's laptop runs Mint, it has never broken in the last 5+ years she has ran it. So if your install has broken 5 times in one year, then to answer your question:

"Are you implying that the breakages are my fault?"

Yeah, most fucking definitely.

But I feel like recommending it to people who don’t know what they’re doing is a horrible idea.

That's because you don't know what you're doing, and still do things on it without fully understanding what you're doing, and break it. Like I said, my wife and grandparents, who have no technical ability whatsoever, don't have problems. Why do you think that is? They don't break it, not ever, not even one single time in the last 5+ years. And aside from Arch, which is a cutting edge, rolling release distro, I've never had a stable release distro break through updates, ever.