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this post was submitted on 08 Jul 2023
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Asklemmy
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Use "they" for everyone. Even those who prefer traditional he/she.
I have better things to do than think about anyones gender.
If it’s offensive to refer to people who prefer “they/then” as “she”, then it’s offensive to refer to someone who prefers “she/her” as “they”.
And this isn’t just on principle either. I know a cis heterosexual woman who has short, but still feminine hair and tattoos and people repeatedly call her “they” sometimes and it bothers her. And it’s weird because the solid odds are that she prefers “she/her” but people call her “they” which points out that she doesn’t look conventional.
Edit: the best thing you can do is to ask literally everyone you meet, or just use he or her the traditional way and quickly and briefly apologize if corrected.
Honestly they can just deal with it. I respect their choice, but I'm not gonna frustrate myself trying to figure them out, especially if it's just a quick conversation that will both forget about in a s few minutes.
Because when it gets to that level of complexity, like WTF is anyone supposed to seriously do?
You say you respect their choice, but your self-described actions don’t.
My response is to use "they" if I'm not sure.
Haha true
Pretty sure that’s offensive as well. I just use the name speaking about the person with someone else. “Ed asked me to speak with you. Ed mentioned that Ed was not going to join our meeting.”, etc.
George likes his chicken spicy, George is getting upset
Yup. Unless I am clear on what I should be addressing a person as, I simply use the name.