It is entirely job dependent. I have been in jobs where it was just a grind and going the extra mile simply put a smile on my boss's face. In jobs like these the best thing you can do is carve out as many hours as possible during the work week to build new skills or apply to other jobs. I've also been in jobs where going the extra mile directly contributed meaningful skills to my resume/portfolio and helped me get a new job with way better pay.

Eh going the extra mile is how I got so burned out I had to quit a job for the sake of my physical and mental health.

Did I get promoted? Hell no. Never did. The boss's wife sure did though.

Yes I'm aware you said balance but I just had to share why I'm currently trying not to care anymore. Note I said trying, I'm really terrible at not giving everything to every project I'm in.

My career has also gone very well in this time period by slacking on my previous job and using the extra time to get my current job. Per minute spent, I think it's more cost effective to look for a new job. Companies hate loyalty now.

I don't even sugar coat the "no" anymore. When the next company calls, all they're going to share is how long I worked there.

Here's a Venn Diagram:

(me) [alienation] (my labor)

but the most important thing is knowing how to say no without sounding like you’re saying no.

Yeah it's a lot about how to market yourself to your higher ups. An employee is a commodity and selling commodites is more about marketing than the actual quality of the product. The biggest victims of that system are the introvert ones who do six extra miles but don't get any recognition

I've been in this game for a good bit now and while I've seen a bunch of go getters put in ridiculous hours and slave away and actually get promoted, I have seen faaaaaaar more just get promoted for being in the right place at the right time or, most times, being the child, spouse, in-law, or friend of someone high up in the company. In my experience your social standing or just plain luck accounts for about 90% of it. The other 10% isn't the work you do, it's the work they think you do.

the most important thing is knowing how to say no without sounding like you're saying no.

The best part is that once you have proven expertise and an impressive resume, you don't even have to sound like you're saying no anymore. After being a lackey for a long time, it feels wrong to say no because it makes you feel like an asshole, but the reality is that there's only so much time; there are only so many hours in a day, and you have only so many days left in this world, and you should expect to actually enjoy some amount of those remaining days. Plus you start to realize that your value far exceeds your compensation, otherwise a company whose sole existence is for the purpose of profit would be incapable of existing since there is no profit if the labor is paid what it is objectively worth. So you just pick your battles and tell people to fuck off when they overstep. It costs money to hire and train a replacement, so unless you're already highly compensated, you have the power to say no to egregious asks and you really should, or you set precedent that you'll say yes to that type of shit and they will continue pushing until they find the line where you finally say no. There is risk that they'll fire you and figure out later that it takes more than one new hire to do what you were already doing without considering the scope creep, but with a good resume and a healthy savings I enjoy playing chicken with a bad boss.

I've been with my current company for almost 3 years and I've only had to say no a couple of times. They're far from perfect, but they're good enough that I actually don't like to say no when I have to here. They pretty much always have reasonable asks. I'm 35 but I could actually see myself staying here until retirement unless they drastically change. I know for a fact that I could go elsewhere for similar pay and treatment pretty easily (because I've interviewed and received offers but turned them down because the pain of change wasn't worth something lateral), so I'm ready if they do pivot to fuck this environment up but I'd really rather stay.

that's capitalist bullshit