this post was submitted on 27 Jan 2024
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Farewell dear friend... (not-a-number.io)
submitted 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) by pol@infosec.pub to c/cat@lemmy.world
 

Hey,

I recently lost my furry friend... It was a tough period and I'm still sad, even if time is healing slowly.

It's the first time I had to deal with such a situation where I have to decide when to go to the vet for the final journey... It was so hard....

Today I can talk about it without getting too emotional. I've also written a blog post on my website to express what I was feeling about that.

People are telling me to adopt another one, but to be honest, I don't feel like I can do it now... Maybe it will come back, I don't know.

All I can say is that it was one of the hardest thing to endure. We love so much those small little animals... Maybe too much.

And you, how have you dealt with such situation? Did you end up getting another one at some point?

Edit: I spent this morning going through each of your messages individually. Thank you so much for sharing your stories and advice. I'm at a loss for words, except to express my heartfelt THANK YOU for your kindness and support. One phrase from your comments deeply resonated with me: "Grief is the price to pay for love." How profoundly true that is... I believe our Izumi lived a joyful life, and he brought us joy "every. single. day. of. his. little. life." Making the decision to end suffering is incredibly difficult, but I believe it's a part of being a responsible pet owner. In such moments, selflessness, not selfishness, is the choice to do.

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[–] Zachariah@lemmy.world 20 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Everyone you love leaves a mark on your soul. I know you can’t hug him anymore, but he’ll never really leave you.

I’ve had to make the call about furry family members half a dozen times, and it doesn’t get easier. Thankfully, they gave me so many happy memories. I wouldn’t choose to spare myself the pain by giving up the love.

I wouldn’t worry about finding a new cat. I believe they seek you out when you’re ready.

[–] pol@infosec.pub 2 points 1 year ago

I wouldn’t worry about finding a new cat. I believe they seek you out when you’re ready.

I guess that's what's going to happen, yeah... Thank you for your kind message.

[–] Engywuck@lemm.ee 12 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

I'm sorry for you loss. Happened to me a couple of years ago. Different illnesses took away both my friends of 16 and 20 years in the span of just 4 months.

At the moment, I feel the need of having a cat around, but to be honest, I prefer not to, for a lot of reasons.

[–] pol@infosec.pub 10 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Oh so sorry to read this :(

The house feel so empty without him right now, but I simply cannot resolve to have another cat right now... even it would be nice for my other lonely cat crying almost everyday around the house looking for his friend. But nope... that's too fresh, that's too soon, I need to forget a bit and time will help.

[–] Engywuck@lemm.ee 5 points 1 year ago

You're right, I guess. Take your time. There's no hurry.

[–] Prismo@lemmy.world 8 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

This is why I try to make every moment special with them and give them the happiest life possible. It doesn’t make it hurt less, but you can know that you made one souls life as perfect as possible and you loved them with all your heart.

[–] pol@infosec.pub 1 points 1 year ago

Definitely, yeah. Thank you for your kind comment.

[–] naeap@sopuli.xyz 8 points 1 year ago (1 children)

When I lost a loved cat in my youth, a friend wanted to help me out and brought a new young one.
I completely broke down and couldn't handle a new cat.

A half decade later a new cat showed up in my life by himself, and after a rough road with moving many times and staying for a year at my ex, he is since some years now happily at my place.

Take your time. What you valued emotionally has the right to be mourned by you

[–] pol@infosec.pub 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Yes definitely, I don't really want to have another one right now even if cats are parts of my life since the beginning... weird feeling, but I don't want to go against it, time will heal.

[–] naeap@sopuli.xyz 2 points 1 year ago

Feel hugged

[–] skyler@lemmy.world 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Received a report saying:

please allow the community to vote on dead pet posts.

The community already votes on dead pet posts via upvotes/downvotes. And the results are largely in favor of allowing these posts.

I understand that death is a tough subject for some people. These sort of posts make me tear up too. But our beloved furry friends are not immortal. They all die eventually.

If this community can serve as a place to help people grieve when they lose their pets then I'd say it's worth making a few people uncomfortable.

Rest in peace, Izumi. You were a beautiful cat that was clearly well loved in life.

[–] pol@infosec.pub 2 points 1 year ago

Thank you... <3

[–] paddythegeek@lemmy.ca 6 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I feel for you. We have always had a lot of pets (4 cats, 2 dogs atm) and dealing with their end of life stage is heartbreaking every time. Just grieve your loss however you need to.

We always take comfort in knowing how much our departed friends brought to our lives, and, particularly for our rescues, how much love and care we were able to give them. Our relationships with them are a gift.

Take good care and trust that you will know if and when the time is right for another one in your life.

[–] pol@infosec.pub 3 points 1 year ago

Thank you...

[–] pol@infosec.pub 1 points 1 year ago

Our relationships with them are a gift.

That's so true... Izumi impressed me every single day of his life, and I really consider my time with him as a gift.

Thanks for your kind words, much appreciated.

[–] Anticorp@lemmy.world 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I'm sorry for your loss. When we had to put our cat to sleep, I thought I would be stoic and strong. As soon as it was final I broke down like a blubbering baby, and kept at that for a solid 20 minutes. I thought that was hard until a couple years later when we had to put our most precious little doggy down. That had me wrecked for weeks on end. I'm still not healed from that loss, and it has been six months. We occasionally talk about getting another dog, but I don't think either of us will be ready for quite a long time.

Anyways, it does heal, but you'll never be the same. I'm sorry for your loss.

[–] pol@infosec.pub 2 points 1 year ago

Thank you for sharing your story and your kind words... I won't be the same indeed, but I guess that's part of growing up means...

[–] Sanctus@lemmy.world 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Losing them is just as hard as any loved one. They are always a part of you.

[–] pol@infosec.pub 1 points 1 year ago

Indeed... it's especially poignant when flipping through the family album on the TV, noticing he appears in nearly every photo, a constant presence among us.

[–] Carighan@lemmy.world 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I was in the same situation last august, also the first time I had to deal with it. All my hugs and condolensces, it totally tore me apart. I have the sister - Pepper - left now (she's 13), so at least I'm not quite alone, but wow is there a hole in this flat as Chili was always the active one doing all kinds of shenanigans. Missed dearly :'(

Months later, it's... okay. I am happy about the time I had with Chili, not sad about the loss. It's a difficult perspective to take at first, but it's how I want to remembered, so it's how I shall remember others, too.

[–] pol@infosec.pub 1 points 1 year ago

Thank you for sharing your story and your kind words.

[–] PinkMonkeyBird@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

My heart goes out to you, friend. That heart crushing feeling of loss is the result of having loved hard. You wouldn’t feel it if you didn’t truly love your baby. Everytime I think of my litter mates that were with me from when I rescued them off that farm up until last year when my bb boy passed at 16. Everytime I think of them I tear up but then I smile bc I remember that they, with their unconditional love for me, allowed me to experience the beauty of true love. Love your baby HARD but know that that pain you feel is the most beautiful pain you will ever feel bc what you’re feeling is love. 💗💛

[–] pol@infosec.pub 2 points 1 year ago

Love your baby HARD but know that that pain you feel is the most beautiful pain you will ever feel bc what you’re feeling is love.

That's so true... Thank you for your kind and comforting words. On my side, I have the tendency to tear up when I think of him, I guess time will heal, and I will smile very soon... time heal everything...

[–] YaksDC@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

My heart goes out to you my friend. It's one of the hardest things to do but being a good owner means making that terrible decision for them. A friend of of mine very aptly said that "adopting a pet is signing up for tragedy" but the time you have is so sweet.

I can tell you, for me, I have had to wait as much as year before I could bring myself to adopt another cat.

[–] pol@infosec.pub 1 points 1 year ago

being a good owner means making that terrible decision for them.

That is something I had hard time to accept... the moment I took the decision was hard, the last time he say goodbye to his friend, the last time he walk in the house, the last time he comes on the bed to wake us up, the last time... of everything... damn I'm writing this now and I start to see things blurry... I guess the recovery will take time for me.

Anyway, thanks for your kind words, all these messages were so amazing....