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HF autist, ADHD but sorta medicated(probably too low of a dose).

I've been trying to acknowledge/identify something that I feel has been having a lot of negative effects on my life lately. When I'm working on learning something or solving a problem, I'll often hit a point of frustration where all my interest to move past it is suddenly lost.

This will be something like dealing with something annoying at work. But also in creative pursuits, ie I slacked on practicing guitar for a couple weeks and now some knowledge I had is just gone and I'm frustrated I need to start a few steps back.

Things like games with few save points were never fun for me. On many occasions, I'd drop a game completely after forgetting to save and losing hours of progress.

Basically once I get this feeling of frustration, I glaze over and start feeling really tired and annoyed. Like I hit a wall and the only thing that stops it is going to sleep. A few times I've straight up gone to bed hours early just to avoid simmering in the frustration.

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[-] bleepbloopbop@hexbear.net 4 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

huh are you me

Sometimes I just get stuck on something and I can't let it go

[-] scops@reddthat.com 3 points 3 months ago

First, it's 2024. There are plenty of games that have figured out how to respect the gamer's free time. Don't hesitate or feel bad about dropping a game if it pretends being annoying/frustrating is an acceptable element of it's difficulty curve. Life's too damn short to be miserable playing a Souls-Like or something if it's just not for you.

Second, I deal with something like you're describing. What works for me is to recognize when frustration, anger or whatever is getting the better of me and just accepting that I'm just not going to be productive for that period. I invest in some self care, which can sometimes be as simple as laying in bed and stewing, or putting on some familiar sitcom until it's time to go to bed.

It might be a day that I'm writing off; if it's bad, it might be a week. But once I take that pressure off myself, sometimes it helps me get back on track faster than if I just tried to bury everything and soldier through.

[-] Shinji_Ikari@hexbear.net 3 points 3 months ago

First, it's 2024. There are plenty of games that have figured out how to respect the gamer's free time

Don't worry about me, I'm not a huge gamer, just thought it was a good example. I'm very grateful for hell divers, its just fun.

For the rest of the comment, sounds like we've got very similar mechanisms already!

[-] jaywalker@hexbear.net 3 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

I try to notice before my frustration escalates beyond the point of no return. If I do catch it early, I stop whatever I'm doing and go through a mental checklist of things I forget to do like pee, drink water, eat, etc. If I've done all that, I go outside or at least stare out of a window. If I still feel frustrated, I go for a walk and look for some newts in the creek by my house.

I started making videos of the newts and other stuff around as a hobby and that has helped a lot. So when I get frustrated at work, I can just stop for a while and do some newt stuff and I guess because I get likes and followers and shit, the dopamine is there and I feel "accomplished" so it's not like I wasted my time by not doing my actual job.

When I get frustrated unpredictably, like I can't possibly see it coming, I still try to follow the same technique, but it's wayyy more difficult to think clearly once I'm frazzled or whatever. Like I get in a loop of angrily repeating some phrase and I'll end up hitting myself, screaming, etc.

I'm almost 40 and only found out about the autism+ a few years ago. I sometimes wonder how much easier life would be if I learned some of this as a kid and my parents weren't fucking psychopaths who hid my diagnosis from me. I also work from home and don't have to keep exact hours, so it's a lot easier for me to mold my life around meltdowns

Edit: I'm also married to a fellow autistic person and we lean on each other a lot. Codependent af

this post was submitted on 12 Apr 2024
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