Being stalked by the FBI as a child (lemmygrad.ml)

submitted 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) by AmerikaLosesWW3@lemmygrad.ml to c/comradeship@lemmygrad.ml

9 comments fedilink hide all child comments

I was targeted by the FBI as a child/teen in public school. Apparently I was marked as a "potential school shooter" because I didn't have friends and "looked like the Virginia Tech shooter (Seung-Hui Cho)". Whenever I went home and played on my PC, they would monitor everything I did, and the next day they would share all the activities I did with my teachers. They would use this information to mock and bully me. My parents didn't even own any guns, I had no way of shooting up the school. It was pure racism that drove them, not fear of me endangering my surroundings. America is the home of censorship and violating surveillance. I really believe they monitored me out of pure hatred just because I happened to be Asian. Occasionally, they would mess with me by moving my files around, turning up the volume while I was wearing headphones and hurting my ears, deleting my files, changing the settings on my PC to freak me out. They wanted me to fear even being in my own home.

Who watches the watchers? Who ensures that they FBI are doing their jobs correctly and abiding by ethical standards? Especially the FBI who has been known to do shady things in the past.

all 11 comments

sorted by: hot top controversial new old

[-] Vampire@hexbear.net 17 points 6 months ago

Whenever I went home and played on my PC, they would monitor everything I did, and the next day they would share all the activities I did with my teachers. They would use this information to mock and bully me.

My view on the situation changed when I read this part.

[-] DankZedong@lemmygrad.ml 14 points 6 months ago

This post will be locked as it seems there is no healthy discussion happening

[-] Hugh_Jeggs@lemm.ee 13 points 6 months ago

Yes I think you need to book some appointments with a psychiatrist

[-] AmerikaLosesWW3@lemmygrad.ml -1 points 6 months ago

a therapist you mean? to deal with the trauma? Only after I graduated from high school did I notice the signs of being stalked end. Was it just a coincidence? I believe they no longer monitor me as heavily anymore.

[-] Hugh_Jeggs@lemm.ee 7 points 6 months ago

[removed by mod]

[-] AmarkuntheGatherer@lemmygrad.ml 2 points 6 months ago

I'm going to make 2 different cases for you never making this comment and if neither have an effect I'm going to ask you to gently fuck off.

The FBI has a history of bullying people into all sorts of things, including suicide. We know from Snowden's leaks that NSA agents use what's at their disposal to look up people they know for petty reasons. Finally, OP only described minor changes in their PC, not books on shelves being switched around, which can be accomplished with a lot of software. Put all this together, and the scenarios where this is all quite possible are plain to see.
Even if you don't believe it, as is your right, this is without doubt the worst way of making that known. This is just one step above hurling slurs and unhelpful to a distressing point. Mockery never got anyone better.

[-] multitotal@lemmygrad.ml 13 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

The FBI does not move files around or change settings on children's PCs.

I know you mean well, but it is very dangerous to enable people's delusions. I know, because I have had schizophrenic episodes (as in, running around the city as if it were all a figment of my imagination) triggered by people who meant well, who hinted that my delusions could be real, that resulted in me ending up in the mental hospital. When I think back at it, I could have easily died, but luckily I was in places where the police doesn't shoot people when they're having a mental health crisis.

It sounds like OP lives in the US, where the police are known to shoot people who are "acting crazy".

The rational explanation to OPs post is that either OP moved the files and forgot, and settings can change after Windows updates, which are automatic and happen while the computer is idle. If it is a shared computer or OP's parents or siblings have access to it, then they could have deleted and moved the files and changed settings when OP wasn't there. Not in a mean way, but maybe because they were messing around on the computer.

I have gotten better, but I still struggle with interpreting other people's actions as sinister. People prone to schizophrenia tend to do that and it can easily spiral out of control; again, talking from experience.

[-] AmerikaLosesWW3@lemmygrad.ml -1 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

How did the teachers know about my google search history then? Why did my "delusions" stop as soon as I left high school? People with schizophrenia tend to develop the illness when they get older if anything

[-] multitotal@lemmygrad.ml 7 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

They didn't. The FBI doesn't share information with high school teachers, and neither does Google.

I used to think people could guess and predict thoughts, because they were sly and good like that. I'd think they used this ability to embarass me and set me up into uncomfortable situations so they could then laugh at me behind my back. Similar to how you think they mocked you.

Just because people happen to mention something you also think about (or google) doesn't mean they have knowledge of it. It is just a coincidence. Again, this took me a while to internalise and I still struggle with it.

I'm against psychiatry, but it has helped some people. The alternative is to stay vigilant and rationally think about these things yourself. Don't start with the assumption that others are out to get you or do you harm. People don't spend that much time thinking about other people, certainly not a single person. I know how easy it is to interpret small things, jokes and remarks as signs of a bigger, sinister plot.

Think about it this way: do you really think your underpaid and overworked teacher spent their free time having meetings with the FBI about your Google searches? Of course they didn't, they were happy to have free time. They probably watched movies/TV shows, got drunk, had sex, went out with friends, and so on.

Another thing to overcome or realise is that not everything is about you. I am talking from personal experience here too. Just because we spend so much time thinking about ourselves, doesn't mean others do as well. Your teachers had hundreds of students, they wouldn't single you out.

Since you edited your comment to add a question, I'll edit mine to add an answer to that:

Why did my “delusions” stop as soon as I left high school?

They stopped because you left high school and lost contact with your high school teachers. You said yourself that "they would share all the activities I did with my teachers". No high school teachers -- no information being shared. Primary school and high school teachers still have a personal relationship with students and are more involved with students. If you went to university you'd meet university professors who advertise the fact they don't give a shit about students lol. In university you're just a number, especially if you're in large classes.

I'm reminded of that joke: Students in university are having an exam. There's a couple hundred students taking it. Time runs out and the professor tells the students to stop writing. Everyone hands in their exams, but one students keeps writing. In a couple of minutes that one student hands in their exam and the professor says "I won't accept your exam." The student asks "Do you know who I am?" The professor says "No." The student says "Good", puts his exam into the middle of the pile and walks out.

this post was submitted on 14 Apr 2024

8 points (62.5% liked)

Comradeship // Freechat

2148 readers

86 users here now

Talk about whatever, respecting the rules established by Lemmygrad. Failing to comply with the rules will grant you a few warnings, insisting on breaking them will grant you a beautiful shiny banwall.

A community for comrades to chat and talk about whatever doesn't fit other communities

founded 3 years ago

MODERATORS

felipeforte@lemmygrad.ml