[FAKE] My friend JD Vance has never cuddled a couch. (lemmy.world)

submitted 3 months ago by Maven@lemmy.zip to c/toiletpaperusa@lemmy.world

8 comments fedilink hide all child comments

cross-posted from: https://lemmy.world/post/17911181

It's not true, folks. The lying liberal media wants you to think he'd shag a settee. That he'd bone a book stand. That he's creamied on the credenza.

Don't trust them. My beautiful boy JD, he'd never do it! He's chaste with the chaises. He's never loved a loveseat.

My VP would never fuck furniture.

top 8 comments

sorted by: hot top controversial new old

[-] Got_Bent@lemmy.world 17 points 3 months ago

I had to go looking for some context as this was new to me. I found this picture and laughed out loud in public

[-] pete_the_cat@lemmy.world 4 points 3 months ago

For others wondering: in his book he admitted to fucking a rubber glove that was stuck in the couch somehow.

[-] Maven@lemmy.zip 15 points 3 months ago

He didn't actually say it in his book. It was a joke that turned into a widespread rumor but it doesn't mention fucking a couch a single time in the book...

That being said... There no way to prove that he DIDN'T fuck the couch. He just didn't write about it in his book.

[-] MeaanBeaan@lemmy.world 4 points 3 months ago

The funniest thing to me is that they think we actually believe it to be true. These memes are hilarious because he just feels like a couch fucker. Regardless of whether or not he has fucked a couch he definitely gives off the vibe.