Okay so forgive me if I miss anything out but I read the thread you made on .world and .ml, as well as the chain on Blahaj: I completely empathize with you that the instance is clearly not safeguarding against the weaponizing of words to silence people looking for solidarity in an inclusive space. I agree with you on the "politics" stance, I think it is exclusive behavior to ban you because you're being "too pedantic" or "argumentative", as they are discriminating against folks who need to clarify on the definition of words, as misuse of language breaks down communication, defeating the whole point of a discussion forum. Calling someone "pedantic" is an insult (let's ignore the troll accusation), and is mean, I would rather say they're detail-oriented and I think it is an accessibility requirement to allow folks to request or seek justification on a potential misuse of language. They misused the word "politics" by confounding it with "controversial topics", and you had the right for pointing that out, as it improves a forum's accessibility on either side. If Abigail did not want to see such response, because it is not good for their mental health to engage in deep dive discussions on semantics, I think it is their responsibility to block you, say "I will not engage", or simply not respond. Some folks use language more literal than others, and I think banning you for this reason is bad faith, simply because you "didn't speak their English".
As for the response on misgendering. I think it's okay to make a mistake, and fix it up, which they did. But then saying "English default on the internet is male for strangers.", is absolutely archaic bullshit. They're very happily willing to call anything that doesn't sit right with their worldview as "politics", but persist to defend archaic internet colloquialism (that, btw, is slowly changing across the internet with most people including either their pronouns in their handles, or simply using the neutral "they") to defend their mistake. They didn't have to make that statement, I don't know what the reason is, but if their users are supporting that attitude, I'd just stay away from Blahaj and not engage with them. I hope you find a safe space elsewhere.