So I occasionally have romance dreams where I meet someone really great who I feel a strong connection to, and we go on a date. Sometimes there's intimacy, sometimes it's just a wonderful conversation and holding hands.
A few years ago, I had a dream with someone who just... Got me. She was smart and cute and funny and had the Whimsey that is so hard to find. All I remember was she had jet black hair and was French, I think her name was Camille or Matilda.
Anyway, I remember having a picnic on a hill overlooking a beautiful valley, and then we went to a county fair, and then we went home and made love. Afterwords we were cuddling and she turned to me with a worried expression and said
"Please don't wake up"
And I woke up.
I never had a dream where I woke up crying so hard. I thought it silly because it was only a dream, right? She doesn't exist other than in my head, right?
But then a year later, I had a dream and she was there again. We embraced and kissed and cried and laughed and went down to the waterfront, a mix of Seattle, San Francisco, and Chicago. It was a little bittersweet but we had this "let's make the most of our time together while we still can" feel. As the sun set and we knew it was time, she opened my palm and put a note in it and said "I am out there, find me and I'll try to find you. I love you." This time I woke up sad but also happy... Maybe she is real. Since then I've thought about her at least once a day.
I've had other relationships, but they all fall flat. Usually they are bad from the start and I'm not trying to compare them to a potential fantasy, and I even fell in love with someone who later broke my heart. It feels like the universe is trying to keep me reserved for her.
Anyway, it's been a few years and I've slowly warmed up to the "woowoo" side of reality, and I'm wondering if there is some way I can find her, or at least dream her up again. Should I consult a psychic or a hypnotist or have a witchy friend do a ritual?
Honestly at this point I'd try anything.
Anyway, thanks for reading. I really miss her.