I'm feeling so uneasy with everything I've been seeing. I keep thinking about what we will be this time next year, and if shit hits the fan, what is your plan? I'm queer and was politically active in 2020, so I would potentially be considered a political enemy.

The only blueprint I can think of is what you do in an active shooter situation; Flee, Hide, Fight.

I know there's that romantic notion of "don't be a coward, get out and protest", but I remember the brutality of the 2020 protests firsthand, and even then I thought "thank god I'm going toe to toe with the CPD and not the CCP". Next time is going to be different. The president now has authority to send drone strikes. Protests and riots don't stand a chance agains missiles and live rounds.

Flee- I have an Uncle in Montreal who my family could potentially use as a way to at least temporarily escape the chaos. The hope I'd have is that Canada and other countries would accept American refugees, however that's not a guarantee.

Hide- If borders are closed, lay low and move away from major cities if possible. If civil war breaks out, try to get away from the violence even if you think your side will win. Todays losers may be tomorrows victors.

Fight- If cellular data/ social media algorithms can keep track of you, and surveillance can make sure there's no movement, this would be the last resort of desperation. I guess if possible try to either find a group for safety in numbers, or conversely go guerrilla as groups of resistance would make easy targets.

Sorry my mind is running and I'm getting scared.

I had a breakup so I wrote a sad song. It's a bit jazzy. I hope lyrics count as poetry.

In the morning

The one I wish I never knew

In the morning

The last one I'll wake with you

.

When the words that come out

Are whispers of a shout

From a heart that pleads it not to be true

.

In the morning

The last morning I have you

.

In the morning

After confessions in the night

In the morning

I never held you so tight

.

The dreams that we had

That could never come to pass

A bird who broke it's wings

Before it hit the glass

.

In the morning

The last morning I had you

.

instrumental

.

I made sure to smell

Your hair before farewell

I don't know if you noticed

I don't know if you could tell

.

In the morning

The last morning I had you

For context:

https://youtu.be/I1o4dyFhvTM?si=sem9nfzKQhOtcRi9

English Translation:

Do you all remember Barbara

And her legendary rhubarb bar?

Yes, in Barbara's rhubarb bar

The rhubarb was never scarce back then

Because in Barbara's rhubarb bar, as you know

There was a rhubarb cake that you don't easily forget

It had been very popular for years among three barbarians

Because barbarians know what rhubarb is

Barbarians know what rhubarb is

K-, k-, know what rhubarb is

Th-, th-, then there was also the barbarian beard barber

The barbarians were almost here every evening with him

And always drank with him after work

Rhubarb-Barbara-Bar-Barbarian-Beard-Barber-Beer

And since the beard barber was really here every evening

Barbara needed an additional bartender for the rhubarb bar beer bar Soon

So she doesn't work alone behind the bar

And so the next day Bärbel suddenly stood behind the bar

She was smart, charming, and very well-read

It didn't take long for everyone in the rhubarb bar to be captivated

As soon as they saw this beautiful being standing behind the bar

The beard barber called out: Bärbel

You are the woman for whom I would sell all my belongings

I wish you were my rhubarb-barbara-bar- Barbarian-beard-barber-beer-bar-Bärbel

The three barbarians were also heavily courting

They would die for a smile from Bärbel

But all their courting was ignored by Bärbel

Because Bärbel was mainly interested in Barbara

And there was clear sympathy on both sides

Apparently, besides Bärbel, Barbara was also bi

A rainbow appeared in the brightest colors When Barbara and Bärbel said 'I do'

The party then took place in the rhubarb bar (Of course!)

And was one of a kind

The beard barber was there, the barbarians were there

And of course, there was plenty of rhubarb cake

The three barbarians served alongside

A rhubarb-barbara-barbarian-barbecue

And later for the dance, the not at all dull

Baden-Baden rhubarb bar ballad bards played

So they both said yes to each other

Rhubarb-Barbara and her Bärbel - hooray!

And soon Master Stork swiftly arrived

And brought a child to the rhubarb bar

Apart from Bärbel and Barbara

Of course, the beard barber and the

barbarians were there for the baby

They were all like a huge family

And they named the child Emily (Lovely!)

Will it later take over the barbershop

Or stand behind the bar at Barbara's?

Maybe!

After all, it was the rhubarb-barbara-bar-barbarian-beard-barber-beer-bar-baby

I've been in therapy for 10 years, and with my current therapist for 4 of them. I love him and he's great, and don't get me wrong therapy is a life saver, but I recently hung out with a childhood friend and we talked about some deep things. My therapist is a pro and doesn't offer advice other than helping perspective shifts, but my friend made some observations and suggestions that hit home. He just straight up said "huh, it sounds like you should call your mom more" and "you know, I see what you do and I don't think the weed has been stopping your productivity, but if it's in the way of happiness you need to do what you need to do" (my big thing with weed was I would kick myself for not getting shit done while high).

I realized I haven't really opened up much to friends and partners, primarily because I'd say "I'll just hold this for therapy". Way long ago I dated someone who was very "I'm not your therapist, please leave that for Tuesday", and I kinda kept that. It's easy for me to talk to someone who doesn't know anyone in my life and I trust will be neutral, but at the same time I have had trouble communicating with people in my outside life.

I dunno, just was a thought.

cross-posted from: https://lemmy.world/post/14474175

The Eurobean Mind Cannot Comprehend