The mass absorbtion is going in the wrong direction. The heavier object absorbs the lighter one.
The camera just moved
Wouldn't your mom just take in everything meaning your mom is the universe meaning your mom is basically god meaing you are jesus.
In all seriousness, there is a radio lab episode out there talking about tiny black holes. Apparently, they might be all over the universe, and can sometimes hit earth, create a massive crater that has no meteorite debris, exit the other side of earth, and could be an explanation for all the dark matter around the universe!
It was a really fascinating episode, and I highly recommend giving it a listen!
I found this episode riveting, until it turned into a 20 minute commercial for a children's book.
Still a very interesting theory.