this post was submitted on 09 Jun 2025
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Mental Health

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Hoo boy! She's been extra hateful and mean to me for the past few days, and the latest ammunition I've given her is not fixing the screen door (and/or screwing it up) to her liking. My chronic pains and the medicinally induced GERD (dizziness, extra pains, ringing in my ear) have not been helping, so what happens? She snaps at me about fixing the door, and so I do (which, yielding to her abuse doesn't exactly make anything better, ๐Ÿ™„ ), and I just found out a moment ago I screwed it up again. The damn main door handle will latch onto the screen door handle. I really really did not feel like working on it today, and I shouldn't have, pppp! Welp, I can expect to hear her scream in the morning when she leaves.

Again, if anyone has a business somewhere one or two states away from Kansas and is looking for a broken man (physically and mentally), I'm your guy, ๐Ÿคฃ ๐Ÿคฃ ๐Ÿคฃ Oh hell! Am glad that I fixed a lot of my stress a few years ago, else I'd be a complete wreck right now, yeesh!

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[โ€“] OldManBOMBIN@lemmy.world 26 points 3 weeks ago

If you wanna move to Kentucky, we need a couple of maintenance guys at the housing authority. Pretty easy work; pay isn't the greatest but it's not terrible. Plus you can probably move into one of our apartments. Shoot me a message if you want details

[โ€“] rimu@piefed.social 23 points 3 weeks ago

She keeps finding ammunition. You're not giving it.

[โ€“] phoenixz@lemmy.ca 6 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Though I'm sure your wife has a list of grievances about you in reverse (nobody is perfect) it does seem that you're in a somewhat abusive situation, or at the very least a very incompatible situation.

Have you considered maybe leaving this situation?

[โ€“] ChamelAjvalel@lemmy.world 3 points 3 weeks ago

Oh, there are definitely things, but unfortunately they are dwarfed by that I got my multiple chronic pains early on in our relationship, and her culture views people who don't work full time as being lazy. So, she pretty much has spent no time with me in these 25 years, and doesn't really know much about me. Then all the other things that go along with that, cemented her opinions.

Eh, to give an example (Not one of the really severe ones. Oh there are some bad ones), when the pains started up I attempted to make chores lists for me, her, and the kids. Nothing difficult, pick up 5 things once a day. Wash two/three/four dishes. Pull up a chair and sit with me to keep my mind off of my pains. Her reasoning was since I didn't work (both full time and not at all), and they worked or went to school, they didn't have to help. Plus, for the kitchen, since she never asked for me to make home cooked meals, they didn't have to help me clean up the kitchen.

Have you considered maybe leaving this situation?

Oh yeah. That's why I'm here now, unfortunately. I attempted to leave in 2017, but I forced myself to work full time as an electrician. Now, granted, electrical work is easy. Really really really easy work, but the three years doing furniture delivery between 2000-2002 made everything hard. Doesn't matter what it is, sitting, standing, walking, or laying down. Everything is hard. Well, when I pushed myself for full time it broke my body to the point where I have not been able to be comfortable since. Then in 21, out of desperation I took the NSAIDs a doctor prescribed me, which made things so much worse.

And with that, I have to be extremely cautious about what I do, if I can even find a job. Someone here has made an offer, and for a healthy individual, it'd be nothing. Probably the easiest job they'd ever have, but for me, it's going to be really really hard. It's going to be like the most stressful and painful day most people have had at least once a year, every...single...day...hour...minute...

There's no escape.

She sounds lovelyโ€ฆ

[โ€“] ChamelAjvalel@lemmy.world 5 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

OOOOH! I had completely forgotten about the things I've collected over the years (in preparation for the pains being too great to work)...I could always sell them on route somewhere.

I've got at least about $600 worth of Native American style flutes (total spent is much higher, though, and was planning on leaving them for my nieces and nephews).

Also, I've got a lot of tools, Makita cordless (eh, probably about $200, $450 at maximum. They are old), Sroll saw, belt sander, stationary belt sander, cheap drill press (Probably not worth more than $250 to $400...They are definitely not the best machines...Well, except for the two belt sanders, however, there both worth no more than about $80, O_o).

Math books, though, they'd only bring about $100 to $175 (Number theory, combinatorics, abstract, linear mostly).

What else do I have? Not my computers...Those are about the only things that my body allows me to enjoy regularly, ๐Ÿ™ . I do have some miniature cat trees for dollhouses I used to make. If I can sell those at full price, en route, that could bring about $175.

So there's a chance I could make it a month or two, ๐Ÿค” .

[โ€“] ChamelAjvalel@lemmy.world 3 points 3 weeks ago

Ok, I could part with the HP pavillion and my toshiba laptop, as long as I had a place to put a desktop, but those two can't be worth more than $150, $200 maximum.

These are things I was (sort of) allowed to collect over my working years. I was berated every time I saved money, so I had used these things as ways of attempting to make money. I just didn't count on the home environment making that almost impossible.