this post was submitted on 22 Dec 2025
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

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top 8 comments
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[–] stupidcasey@lemmy.world 28 points 2 days ago (1 children)

CEASE AND DESIST - FIRST AND FINAL WARNING

This is your ONLY notice regarding your libelous accusations against Mr. S. Claus.

The Fair Labor Standards Act of 1938 (29 U.S.C. § 201 et seq.) specifically excludes charitable volunteers from coverage. My client's workshop is a registered charitable organization. Your claims are legally baseless and constitutionally defamatory.

Retract your statements immediately or face litigation. Mr. Claus has extensive resources, centuries of relations with government officials, and zero tolerance for slander.

You've made the Naughty List. Don't make it worse.

Jingleheimer & Schmidt, Esq.
Counsel for S. Claus
North Pole Bar Association

[–] Track_Shovel@slrpnk.net 8 points 2 days ago

I love this so much.

[–] sorrybookbroke@sh.itjust.works 17 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (2 children)

Santa Claus isn't contact free?

Each christmas santa sneaks beside your bed and gifts you with little kisses before he leaves. This is the reason for seasonal increase in illness not the temperature. It's mostly fine for fairness but was the leading factor in spreading the bubonic plague during the dark ages

[–] MightBeAlpharius@lemmy.world 10 points 2 days ago

He sees you when you're sleeping,

In comforts soft embrace.

He comes right up to your bedside

And drags his balls across your face.

So, you'd better not pout, you'd better not cry,

You'd better watch out, I'm telling you why,

Santa Claus is coming to town!

Also stole the bedside milk and cookies.

[–] Twoafros@sh.itjust.works 5 points 2 days ago

Is it cannon that Santa knows Jesus' teaching? I know the original Saint Nicholas was religious but the version that is popular now (who lives in the north pole, who uses elves and flying reindeer) seems non religious.

Also, how can Mary know the teachings of her son before she gave birth to him?

[–] fort_burp@feddit.nl 3 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

"current events" are from last year

[–] 5714@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 2 days ago

Immaculate delivery, hoe hoe