this post was submitted on 22 Dec 2025
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

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Wakin’ up the donkey,
toddler kickin’ in the womb, tonight.
Tiny town of Bethlehem,
no one’s got a spare room, that’s right.

Mary’s feelin’ labor pains,
Joseph’s askin’ for a spot inside.
Innkeeper is overflowed,
points ’em to the barn, “It’s… nice.”.

Pre‑Chorus. You’ll never see the newborn King. until you hit that straw‑floor overload.
You’ll never know the joy He brings. until you kneel down low where shepherds go.

Chorus. Highway to the Manger Zone,
gonna take a ride into the Manger Zone.

Verse 2. Star is burnin’ overhead,
ancient holy GPS at night.
Shepherds on the graveyard shift,
angels drop a “DO NOT FEAR” in lights.

Glory crankin’ up to ten,
sheep are baaa‑king out in pure wide‑eye.
“Peace on earth, the King is born!”. Everybody sprints to stall 2‑5.

Pre‑Chorus. You’ll never say, “Emmanuel”.
until you feel that stable overflow.
You’ll never hear the angels yell. until you’re face‑down low in hay and snow.

Chorus. Highway to the Manger Zone,
ride on through the night into the Manger. Zone.

Bridge
Wise men with the gift bags,
Google‑mapping with a star so bright.
Herod wants a status ping,
“Tell me when you find this Child, all right?”.

Frankincense and gold and myrrh,
showin’ up like VIP front row.
Mary’s in her house‑coat,
Joseph’s like, “We didn’t clean, you know.”.

Final Chorus (double)
Highway to the Manger Zone,
gonna take you right into the Manger Zone.
Highway to the Manger Zone,
better bring a coat, it’s a drafty zone.

top 7 comments
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Someone needs put this together, one of the few times to use AI.

[–] pennomi@lemmy.world 7 points 2 days ago (2 children)
[–] Restaldt@lemmy.world 2 points 2 days ago

Outlaw Country!

[–] afk_strats@lemmy.world 1 points 2 days ago
[–] krooklochurm@lemmy.ca 4 points 2 days ago

I'd like to see a supernatural John wick styled movie where the three wise men are coming to kill Jesus an an exhausted Mary has to protect him while stylishly killing hundreds of Roman's and necromancers (the wise men are magic).

Or like. You can even imply that it's Jesus without saying it overtly.

I know exactly how'd id start it. There's a bright light and a glowing fetus can be seen from the perspective of inside the womb. It is speaking to something in an otherworldly way, in a language that doesn't exist. Psychedelic patterns depicting humanity and love flash by. A rising darkness gradually takes hold. The baby emerges from the womb. And is gripped close to the chest of an exhausted woman in a blue dress. A man, her husband, lies choking on blood on the floor, his throat slit open. The woman is holding a sword, standing. She slices the umbilical cord, kills two men who are rushing towards her. They fall to the floor, coughing on blood.

A booming, otherworldly voice says: run. The woman runs from the manger she'd been in, and a biblically accurate angel, a thousand feet tall, looms above her in a horrifying display of brilliant rainbow hues and disorienting white light.

"The child must live. This is your task" says the angel, feathers 20 feet across rippling as it speaks in a deafening, otherworldy voice. The woman, still holding the eerily quiet newborn, screams, holding one hand to her ear.

The angel fades revealing three men on horseback and a group of dirty thugs.

The woman runs and the newborn begins to cry.

[–] GreenKnight23@lemmy.world 3 points 2 days ago
[–] Ininewcrow@piefed.ca 2 points 2 days ago

I can hear the 80s electric guitar solo