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submitted 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) by FarFarAway@lemmy.world to c/nostupidquestions@lemmy.world

This is completely strange, and very long. I've exhausted all my ideas, and need fresh ones.

Some background.

  1. my neighbor is old, very very old. Also, they are not very mobile. So something like creeping up to the window and listening in is out of the question. Although, a very long time ago (decades) they did used to hang out near an air condition vent, listening to our in person conversations.
  2. when I say neighbor, I mean they live in a small house connected by a breezeway to my house. I do admit they are rather close. Yes I do have access to thier house.
  3. i have no real idea of thier level of technological expertise. They are pretty manipulative so even though I'm under the impression they're very limited on expertise, it's possible they know more than they let on. Let's just say at this point, they say they have difficulties placing calls to thier saved contacts on thier jitterbug flip phone, but when your not looking they're already on the line with someone, like five seconds after you walked out the door. As far as we know they do not have access to the internet, but who knows. They do know how to navigate to at least a limited number of websites though. (Slight fear of them seeing this post, haha)
  4. they digest far right media. This in itself doesnt seem relavent, but I suppose, in my head, this might be able to give them awareness of the types of technology that one might use to pull something like this off.
  5. It is remotely possible that someone could have installed something inside the house maybe about 15-20 years ago, and given the neighbor access to it.
  6. they are on a limited income, and are not independently wealthy. Any technology would have to be no only easy to use, but on the less expensive side as well.

So... Maybe about once a year for the past few years a topic or phrase that was talked about over the phone would come up in conversation the next day. Not a big deal, written off as coincidence. That's just how it goes sometimes. Well now, we've had a falling out. For the past few weeks they have brought up many private conversations I have had over my cell phone with at least 2 different people. They repeat not just what I say, but what the person on the other end of the phone says as well. I say, "Man, im pretty sure they're hearing my phone calls." The other person says, "Maybe there's a bug somewhere." The next day they start to prattle on about...a bug on the wall. But not a real bug...oh what do you call those things...you know, bugs that know things. Or I say "I'm worried about this escalating." The other person jokingly says "Oh, don't eat or drink anything from them, unless they take some first.. They may try to kill you." The next day neighbor is handing me a concoction they've made. "Oh, I've just sat down with this mixture I've created for my health. Everything I put in it is sitting on the counter there. (Cue various herbal supplements / tinctures) here have the first sip... it's not going to kill you." They are bringing up / creating situations centered around private converstaions from the night before. They may skip a day or two here and there, but it's a pretty regular occurrence.

Something worth mentioning, is that while im on the phone call, I will turn on my Bluetooth and use my earbuds. Everytime the buds connect, the call drops, and we have to call each other back. I figured I was pushing a button wrong or something and hanging up. But since the neighbor has gone somewhere, we have not been able to replicate the situation.

Things we have tried but have since been disproven:

  • At first we thought we were leaving windows open and they could just hear it...but all windows were closed.
  • maybe they can hear through the walls somehow, they are thin. But its never been a thing before. (why would they have to hang out by aforementioned vent, then) We blast the radio real loud and see how much we can hear from neighbors porch. Can't make out exact words and doesn't explain hearing the other person.
  • well thier radio automatically connects to iPhones ( un-updated iphone from the air drop debacle/ f-ed up feature of the radio involving nfc and bluetooth) and it did pair with my phone at some point. Maybe they can the other person over thier radio. But we tried to make it work and just cant replicate it.
  • we've checked obvious places for a walke talkie looking receiver. Nothing.
  • we've used one of those cheap bug detectors off Amazon and checked the house...and the vent. No wires comming out of strange places as far as we can tell.

I'm at my wits end. What could they be using and how can I stop it? It maybe all a coincidence, but then its as much so as Facebook / Google targeted ads that arent listening your conversations. I mean, what, are they an advanced algorithm that can guess what your thinking based on all available data on you?

Help! And thank you for taking the time. Also, sorry about the format / spelling getting all this out on mobile is tough.

TL:DR. My really old neighbor seems to hear my both sides of cell calls to at least 2 different people. Is there simple, rather cheap technology put there that they could be using. And how do i go about finding it / making it stop.

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[-] SGforce@lemmy.ca 5 points 1 year ago

It can be trivial for someone motivated to get spying stuff. I've seen posters on lampposts for gps trackers and a friend somehow got a keylogger usb to bust his cheating ex. Maybe he got something a while back to spy on someone else but is too paranoid to get rid of it.

Could also just be that cellphones are pretty loud. I can hear some neighbours in my apartment speaking on their phone when it's quiet.

What about regular conversations when you are having people over? If it’s not tech/bluetooth related they must be able to hear that too and it must seem to them like a phone call (just 2 people talking)

[-] FarFarAway@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago

They don't hear anything with regular conversation, unless we're outside on the porch.

[-] iByteABit@lemmy.world 5 points 1 year ago

Like others have said I think you should seriously consider checking your mental health with a psychiatrist.

I'm sorry if it's not the case, but you shouldn't risk it if it is, I've seen cases like this and it's really sad to witness. It only goes downhill from there if left untreated..

[-] mockingbird@possumpat.io 5 points 1 year ago

I don't have any more helpful advice besides what the others said but I am very interested in hearing how this goes. I hope you can get some peace of mind!

[-] jerrimu@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago

They may have some srt of hearing aid. Also, nothing you posted proves they heard your call, it could simply be coincidence.

[-] abcd@feddit.de 3 points 1 year ago

How about talking about some major crimes until the police gets involved. In this case your neighbor himself may call the cops and tell them he is listening to your calls…

[-] Vlyn@lemmy.ml 3 points 1 year ago

Bluetooth doesn't make much sense, as you usually only have one device active. But you can easily rule this out: If you have Android for example, long press the Bluetooth button, then check paired devices. Is there any device you don't recognize? Remove it. Done.

Bluetooth is usually encrypted, so if you didn't accidentally pair your device with your neighbor's there is no way they can listen in.

And even more important: Check for carbon monoxide in your home. You might be having health issues and are hallucinating or making things up.

Besides that: It might be possible your neighbor hears you talking on the phone (through the walls for example or with a bug in your home), but there is absolutely no way they'd hear the other side of the conversation. So either your side alone would already give them all the information or something else is up (see above).

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[-] VeryAmaze@vlemmy.net 2 points 1 year ago

Anecdotal: my neighbors entryway is recessed, and as so happens to be like 20 meters away from a window on the second floor of my house. There's a ton of vegetation between us, but even if people are whispering there - I can hear it like they are right next to me. Especially when they are screaming at their kids to "be quiet"🫠.
It's possible that your neighbor found some spot where sound from your house travels to. Do you normally take phone calls in a specific area of the house? Vs where you usually have guests over?

[-] TDCN@feddit.dk 2 points 1 year ago

On modern smart phones ther are some accessibility settings for hearing aid connection that iirc connects automatically to hearing aids that support the feature. It's not always using Bluetooth. The non Bluetooth variants are pretty low range I think but Bluetooth is also used for the same features. Go to you phone settings and see if you accidentally enabled something like "hearing enhance" "hearing aid enhance" etc.

[-] PerspectiveVortex@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago

I’m certainly no expert, and maybe there’s a reason no one else has suggested this, but I think we need to consider if this is a paranoid delusion. Maybe speak to a doctor?

[-] PerspectiveVortex@lemmy.world 1 points 1 year ago

I’m certainly no expert, and maybe there’s a reason no one else has suggested this, but I think we need to consider if this is a paranoid delusion. Maybe speak to a doctor?

[-] PerspectiveVortex@lemmy.world 1 points 1 year ago

I’m certainly no expert, and maybe there’s a reason no one else has suggested this, but I think we need to consider if this is a paranoid delusion. Maybe speak to a doctor?

[-] Aviandelight@kbin.social 1 points 1 year ago

Does your neighbor use a hearing aid? It wouldn't surprise me. These devices can connect to Bluetooth. I would take the advice already posted about resetting the Bluetooth connections to your phone.

[-] NotABearJustAHuman@kbin.social 1 points 1 year ago

I too was about to suggest the neighbor has Bluetooth hearing aids. A family member has Bluetooth hearing aids and you can never tell they have them.

[-] DrChickenbeer@kbin.social 1 points 1 year ago

@Aviandelight

I immediately thought of a hearing aid too. I'm not sure of what tech they use these days but RF interference can do weird things.

@FarFarAway

[-] whydudothatdrcrane@lemmy.ml 1 points 2 months ago

It bugs me (no pun intended) how people in such cases readily suggest some kind of poisoning, intoxication, or mental meltdown. Hinting to numerous other comments in the thread. So, a word to all armchair psychiatrists out there, I have it on good authority that real psychiatrists first rule out whether the situation is real, then move on to delusional and paranoia explanations. Otherwise it would be very easy to conspire against a family member, poison them or get them locked up, and enjoy their fortune or sth. So it is a meme at this point, so joke is on me for responding seriously but at some point it has to be debunked. You have to rule out that the situation is not real before reach for the mental illness explanations.

[-] whydudothatdrcrane@lemmy.ml 2 points 2 months ago

I also don't know why this 1 year old post popped into my feed, but anyway, as others report, I am curious about this "case". Is there any resolution @FarFarAway@lemmy.world ?

[-] FarFarAway@lemmy.world 1 points 2 months ago

Iol, I have no idea why this popped up on your feed either.

So, no. No resolution. We've never found anything, in or around, that could remotely be used in this manner. We could never replicate it.

I do understand where your coming from. I do, also, understand where everyone else was coming from as well. It seemed pretty wild, even to us. I admit, I was slightly suprised at the mental illness suggestions, but not totally taken aback. I expected people to think more along the lines of what you've brought up. That I'm trying to use a device like this, on someone else. Which I wasn't and I'm not. Nobody really stood to benefit from this. There was no large sum of money, we all got along for many years, and we were always on relatively good terms. It was just thier mental decline that made them act in ways we really never expected.

Some type of conformation bias may possibly be the closest reason, second to it just really happening, and we did consider that, but it just got way to specific way to many times. Hell, at the beginning of the whole mess, they made some off handed comment that they were "a little psychic," lol, So who knows. We really thought it was the radio, but like I said, we couldn't replicate it. I just thought I would try my luck and see if anyone might have had some answers.

I will add that, a friend did get me some CO2 detectors. Mostly cause they noticed there werent any fire detectors either. They haven't gone off yet, so...

This person was really close to us for a really long time. I may have changed some "names" for privacy reasons, but the situations and conversations are truly the way it all played out. In the end, they never came back and everything was left in limbo. We never got another change to recreate the situation and we never got any answers. I do admit, we haven't made a huge super thorough sweep of the place. We figured that anything being used that frequently would be easy enough to find. The place has just been left, mostly as is, just like everything else that came out of this crazy situation. I wish there was something more final to offer, but there just is not. Maybe one day, when we finally get brave enough to clean it out, proper, and we'll stumble across something. But until then, its just one of life's mysteries, I guess.

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this post was submitted on 02 Jul 2023
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