this post was submitted on 27 Dec 2025

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Mildly Infuriating

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-24

The Ritual Shaming of the Woman at the Coldplay Concert (www.nytimes.com)

submitted 21 hours ago by Veneto@lemmy.world to c/mildlyinfuriating@lemmy.world

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[–] ecvanalog@lemmy.world 1 points 1 hour ago

This is a strange article. Yes, women are subjected to unfair levels of scrutiny culturally, and yes, it’s entirely unacceptable that she has been receiving threats and harassment.

But first off, the article frames the death threats as on par with being parodied by a baseball mascot. That’s wild. The viral moment being joked about isn’t the same as harassment, and it’s disingenuous and weird to pretend it is.

Second, she is pretty clearly still downplaying this and not being honest — with the reporter, with herself, or both. “We weren’t an item at the time?” Get out of here with that.

[–] atrielienz@lemmy.world 18 points 20 hours ago (1 children)

Here's the thing. She knew. And while it's none of my business, if you're going to cheat, you gotta be prepared to be caught and shamed. Humans being what they are.

[–] trxxruraxvr@lemmy.world 5 points 20 hours ago (1 children)

On some level I agree with you, but there's a difference between the usual being caught and shamed and being publicly crucified on national television so people that you've never heard of recognize you and know what you did.

[–] atrielienz@lemmy.world 6 points 19 hours ago (1 children)

If she were a celebrity would we feel the same?

Because really what it comes down to is she knowingly helped a high profile person cheat and got caught. I'm not saying she deserves it. I'm not saying it's a good thing. To me this is on par with the whole Monica Lewinsky thing.

I personally bear this woman no ill will. But I also don't really think we should be expected to have empathy for something she did to herself because she couldn't think ahead to what the potential repercussions of her actions were.

[–] nogooduser@lemmy.world 0 points 17 hours ago (1 children)

If she were a celebrity would we feel the same?

I would, yes. She’s done absolutely nothing that warrants this treatment.

The only people who should have any ill will towards her are those that are directly affected by her actions. That should be the case even if she was famous before this.

[–] atrielienz@lemmy.world 3 points 16 hours ago* (last edited 16 hours ago)

No. No. I think you misunderstood. I'm not saying people should have ill will toward her. I'm saying that the ill will is an expected part of how society functions when a person gets notoriety for doing something wrong.

If she had been outed by the papers in a less public way, people she doesn't know who ~~we're~~ were not affected by her actions would still be judging her.

Most people would judge the average person who got caught cheating if they knew about it.

She had to know going into her relation with a married man that there was the potential to get caught. She had to know it would be unlikely to receive anything but vitriol from people who've been cheated on. She went along with it anyway.

There's a possibility that because of the power dynamic between her and a man who was her boss, she was taken advantage of. That's why I brought up and compared her to Monica Lewinsky. However I don't have energy to waste on worrying about what ifs.

I don't follow the story and didn't even really remember her until this post popped up. I can't even tell you what her name is without googling it. I'd wager most people are equally ambivalent. It's most likely a very loud minority of people who remember and are giving her shit about this.

[–] RodgeGrabTheCat@sh.itjust.works 7 points 18 hours ago

It's my understanding at a Cold Play concert they make sure the audience knows they could be on camera. This is a place you don't want to be while doing something you don't want to be known to the public at large. I haven't been following this story beyond the man getting fired from his job.