Dogs

I always wondered why the FUCK waiters/bussers do this until I got part time catering work

the answer is bosses have this brain worm that makes them believe that a plate with a single bite taken out of it being in view of a customer makes the customer angry and likely to complain that tHeIr TaBLe iS dIrTy

the worst part is the bosses are correct, 1% of customers do in fact bitch and moan if a plate full of food they decided they're not interested in isn't telepathically recognized by the busser as unwanted and whisked away 0.5 nanoseconds after the last desired bite has been taken from it

and so because of these fucking psychopaths, those of us that want to finish our fucking fries have to guard the plate like a starving dog 🫩

Even worse when they take it while ur ~~in the bathroom~~ marking your territory

This is why I maintain eye contact and growl a little louder each step they take towards me. When they get real close I show my teeth and start licking them. If they don't get the hint I bark and snap at the air.

If they reach out to take my plate after all these warnings. I gobble down frantically on the contents, as they lift the the plate. Each bite making growling noises between breaths.

If they get the signal and back up without touching my plate. I'll start wiggling my butt and continue munching happily well side eyeing them. If we make direct eye contact I pause and flash my teeth.

Or if they take my glass that still has a final sip of beer--grrrrr, I bite!

Is this actually an issue for anyone?

I can't remember a single instance of anyone bussing my table prior to me leaving since COVID despite me wanting them to.

You jammed 7 of us at a table for 6, then we have 2 babies, and you just keep giving us multiple plates for every single dish. So we've got 8 plates stacked up, 4 empty drinks cups, and 2 kung fu grip babies.

Every restaurant trip feels seconds to midnight on the doomsday clock by the end.

Please, just bus the fucking table...

I worked at restaurants before, my ass would've been out the door if I failed to bus this many tables.