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Maybe it's a cliche, but it bears repeating: preference is fine, prejudice is not.
What would be the differences in this case, can you please give me examples?
The example another person gave is on point. In relationships with people it usually comes down to "this relationship might not work out since I'm demi, but I like you so let's go on a date" versus "I don't go on dates with allo people".
If you prefer chocolate ice cream to vanilla ice cream, that doesn’t make you bigoted or prejudiced against vanilla. Preferring one thing to another isn’t, in itself, a value judgement. When you make a value judgement, that chocolate is better than vanilla for some arbitrary reason, then it becomes problematic.
Honestly this just makes me think of T4T. Like, allosexuality/alloromanticism is unfortunately seen as the default/norm in society, and I'd absolutely understand that when someone deviates from a given norm in a way that a lot of people don't understand or see as valid, that that person might prefer to stick with people who are known to be "safe" — that is, people who share that experience in particular. This holds true for a lot of traits, not just being demi.
So if someone turned me down because I'm allo, and that person only dates other demis, then it really wouldn't really register to me as "allophobic". I might be disappointed or find it a shame, but I'd understand it and find it just.
Allophobia is a thing that happens sometimes, but I really don't think this could be cited as an example of it.
this post was submitted on 21 Oct 2023
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