I just picked lemmy.one mostly at random, but also in part because it advertised itself as well regulated but also not heavily populated and thus prone to crashing with the recent influx of reddfugees.
Seems to work okay, but I can't create a community without admin approval and the instance also disallows downvoting, and I'm not a big fan of that at all, but I'll give it a while longer and see.
I'm still finding it a challenge to find the balance of communities that interest me I used to have. There's an awful lot of meta chatter about the site itself from new users that, while I understand, gets rather annoying when it takes up the whole feed. So it's definitely an adjustment, resulting in me using it less than I did my old haunts, but in the meantime I've gotten a lot more reading done than I used to, so I've got that going for me.