The worst part is if you're walking while drinking and you breathe in at the same time. Suddenly, you've got an air bubble the size of a baseball stuck in your esophagus and it hurts like hell while it's going down. Can't cough it up, it's too late now. It's already making it's way down like a bulbous O²-rocket though a Death Star's thermal exhaust port.

Anyone else had that before?

I normally just blame it on somebody trying to poison me, poison's not contagious.

The way people overreact has always been one of my pet peeves. It’s like they’ve never heard anyone cough before.

My favorite time was when I was coughing so bad people wouldn’t shut up, and I had to leave the room. When I came back, people asked if I was okay, and I said “of course. It was only water. I just needed to cough without a half-dozen people asking if I was okay. I can’t cough and speak at the same time.” 😊 Somebody changed the subject after that.

A Thanksgiving Tradition

For some reason coughing that much can get me into an asthma attack, and I'm able to avoid it by suppressing my coughs. So I do.

Just tell them you were practicing your waterboarding.