I trust reddit posts too.

Wanna redo my kitchen for $15k? I'll hire you right now, and pay half up front.

Both of you stfu

Becoming a federal felon.

True in my case, but there's a good reason. We started dating in HS. She has a late growth spurt, and her boobs got huge. She really filled out everywhere. And considering she was an ex athlete, she really was something to behold.

I remember being at work, and seeing a bombshell walking across the parking lot. I was in awe. And then I realized it was her. I knew it was doomed from that point on. She was constantly getting hit on by everyone by that point.

My girlfriend even went to metal shows with me. She crawled through GWARs worm once. I was so close with the band Lamb of God. This was the years 2000/2001, so they weren't popular yet. Apparently John Campbell would talk about her tits behind my back.

I even had several people say I looked like shaggy. And over twenty years later, I go to the grocery store wearing brown sweatpants and a green shirt. That was today.

Matrix confirmed.

I have no sense of direction. None.

I work in construction. If I show up to a site that is completely built, I get lost. If the floor is symmetrical in layout, I am totally screwed. It took me two full days on site once to get adjusted.

When assigned to a new site, if there are more than a few turns in a commute, I'm using the GPS to get there for a couple of weeks.

Also, I had no idea half of the people on this planet couldn't whistle.

America got someone triggered over paper.

I had a test about nouns in the first grade. I picked a cat to be a "person" not a "thing." I asked my dad why I got the question wrong. He said our cat is a person to us.

Joining the electrical union. I'm a convicted felon. The union gave me a future.

I had two roommates who both had pitbulls. Both very loving owners. These dogs were treated right. But they could not coexist.

After one fight too many, one of the owners got mauled by his own dog after trying to break the dogs up. He almost lost his hand.

Ban pitbulls.

There was a kid in grade school growing up that was a bully. He made a kid cry while we were waiting for our class picture to be taken in the 6th grade, and you can see that kid crying in the picture. I still think about it often.

The bully ended up being one of the greatest running backs my county ever knew. He was a game changer.

I randomly decided to look up the crying kid from the school picture a couple years ago. He is now a very successful man. I couldn't be any happier seeing that. It almost brought me to tears.

The bully was shot and killed in the streets a couple years after graduating high school.

Oh, the whitest sport in the world is bigoted?