This weekend was a hard one, one of the hardest in a while.
My partner is always so supportive, and she got to have fun with another girl on Saturday night.
When we talked about it afterwards, she felt that she had been able to relieve a sapphic itch that had been sitting there.
From that it came out with the complexity she feels surrounding myself, having known me as a cis male before the egg started cracking earlier in the year.
Recently we'd been playing around with caged chastity rather than just through orgasm control. To her that was more of a sissy thing, so neutral/male leaning into femme presentation. I liked the cage, not sure I even want to look at it right now.
When we were sitting in the hotel room she talked me through an experiment. I was in my lingerie and she had me close my eyes, move in front of the mirror, drop my panties and then open them looking at myself, with my lingerie hem pulled up a bit.
My instinct was to look away, to dislike what I saw hanging there... to want to hide it.
I asked for her help going to Victoria's Secret yesterday, got measured for a bra... and bought two... wanting to give some shape and form to my chest.
Not sure why I'm writing this tbh, other than to express myself a little to the void in the safety of strangers.
Going to talk to a gender support line when they open later in the afternoon... for now I'm hiding under a blanket cuddling Blahaj and occasionally crying.
My girlfriend pretty much shoved me into the fitting rooms the first time I went to buy a skirt... I was so very nervous showing the gal on the door the one item to try on.
Fast forward a bit and I had a lovely experience at the Levi store ... was looking for a new pair of jeans for a holiday. As I was looking at the various cuts I was unsure wear to pick up, as I wanted something more form fitting. My partner said that the female cut has very little crotch area though, so potentially an issue there... so was looking in the men's section.
Assistant in the store came over and offered help. I somewhat shyly mentioned that I was looking for someone a little tighter on the skin, and mentioned "I have a masc pair already" ... their eyes pretty much lit up "Well you won't find what you want on this side of the store" and pretty much dragged me over to the women's section, and started pulling bits off the shelf and holding them up to me.
"Well this is pretty much the equivalent of a mens 34 waist, what do you wear normally?"
"Well my femme size in my clothing is usually a 16..."
Again a slight grin... before rushing me over to the cubicles to try on the items they picked out...
A very good eye they had... picked out a pair so comfy and I felt really good in. Was also just such an affirming experience.