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submitted 6 months ago by Leilys@lemmy.dbzer0.com to c/adhd@lemmy.world

Does anyone else feel a degree of imposter syndrome with work, like it's only matter of time until you can't work around your ADHD enough to avoid problems and everything falls apart?

I'm currently provisionally diagnosed with ADHD, pending further testing. I managed to get a degree and was working for a few years when someone recommended I get tested where I proceeded to finally pass this one test with flying colors...

My experience with work is that in the beginning, my attitude and enthusiasm to learn tends to give my bosses the impression that I have so much potential.

Then, cue the slow car crash that is me failing to meet that potential, then the cracks starting to show due to disorganisstion or task paralysis in my work, eventually putting me in a position where my competency is questioned and I'm falling behind on work because I'm struggling to meet (imo) great expectations that might seem realistic to neurotypical people, but is a struggle for me.

Then I jump ship to a new job, and the cycle restarts.

I thought I had a handle on my latest job. Stayed for just over a year. I thought this was it, I wasn't an imposter, I was finally fitting in. Then cracks, and everything fell apart and I'm now at risk of losing my job again. I tried my best, and I just feel disappointed in myself, like even I can't trust myself to do things right even at max effort.

This sucks.

[-] Leilys@lemmy.dbzer0.com 50 points 6 months ago

I think it's definitely really early to say if they have proper romantic interest in you, given you've only known each other about a week? But from your post, it seems like you two have points in common and have a lot to chat about, which is often a good foundation for relationships, friendly and romantic.

In terms of learning Linux, it's probably ideal to have a bit more of an outline of what you want to start teaching her because it's a huge jump into a new OS (not that I know much of myself). She may not know where to ask you to start and would appreciate more suggestions from you on where to begin, like telling her "Today, let me show you (practically) how to install (OS) on a system and navigate it" and going off that.

I think the tl;dr would be: Have a Linux lesson plan, expect friendship first. Take it slow.

Hope things go well.

[-] Leilys@lemmy.dbzer0.com 27 points 11 months ago

Are you also a recipient of the "You have potential, you're just lazy" award?

Its sad to see that we all bear that weight of all these great expectations we just couldn't seem to meet, despite our best efforts.

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submitted 11 months ago by Leilys@lemmy.dbzer0.com to c/gaming@kbin.social

Once upon a time, we could unlock all cosmetic items just by playing the game we paid for.

When cosmetic DLCs came around, framed as a way to support the developers it was still somewhat accepted. If you wanted to look pretty, pay a little more. Fine.

But what's up with all these seasonal passes and whatnot? So, you're saying I can pay a game for the privilege of working to earn these cosmetics. And there's a seasonal rotation, so I can still stand to miss out if I don't play enough in the given time frame?

That's a bad deal if I've seen one.

I know it's been around for a long time, but it's a crappy business proposition. It's a sad state that we can't just pay for a completed game and avoid any microtransaction bs in game while playing.

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submitted 11 months ago by Leilys@lemmy.dbzer0.com to c/adhd@lemmy.world

I take Ritalin 10mg on a needs basis since I generally have functioned 'alright' into adulthood.

Just took one to get some work done today and it still amazes me how normal I feel about doing work once I'm medicated. Like there's no massive hurdle to even starting. No massive reluctance and task paralysis to fight.

Coming from a whole week where I've been procrastinating on whatever isn't urgent, suddenly it's so easy to just... do.

I also get incredibly chatty (hence the post, lol), but yeah. I can't imagine how life changing it must be for people who struggle even worse with executive dysfunction.

[-] Leilys@lemmy.dbzer0.com 16 points 1 year ago

If you don't have an Epic Games account, you should make one to take advantage of their weekly free games. Thoughts about the company aside, you occasionally get access to some great games like Borderlands 3 and Prey.

I recommend Daniel Mullins games if you like games that challenge the forth wall. Pony Island and Inscryption were fun. I've bought The Hex but haven't sat down and committed the time to it yet, but it was very highly recommended to me.

If you like games like Undertale, it's sequel Deltarune is free on Windows. Two chapters out so far.

If you happen to be a Pokémon fan, it's not really AAA stuff that needs a gaming machine, but I recommend Pokémon Reborn. It's a fully complete fan game that I've been following for years during development. It's also free to download and supports online PvP and wonder trade.

Congratulations on your gaming pc!

[-] Leilys@lemmy.dbzer0.com 12 points 1 year ago

It was an April Fools joke, and they didn't actually post X rated content.

However, to the best of my understanding people who subscribe to someone on OnlyFans can send messages that include photos. So Madison's claims of being forced to deal with the sexual content sent in by trolls would be plausible.

[-] Leilys@lemmy.dbzer0.com 10 points 1 year ago

I have ADHD, so music helps me maintain focus when I'm (usually) unmedicated. That being said, I do have a very strong media dependency, so I get where you're coming from.

[-] Leilys@lemmy.dbzer0.com 12 points 1 year ago

I click on titles I find interesting, but I'm personally not a scroller. But I have friends that do go down that rabbit hole for large chunks of time at a time.

Short form content can be scarily addicting.

[-] Leilys@lemmy.dbzer0.com 25 points 1 year ago

My partner was also the one who suggested that might have ADHD. It sort of made sense to at least try since I'd been struggling with being "normal" since I was about 8, so I gave it a shot.

So I got diagnosed last year as an adult. Getting diagnosed doesn't immediately change anything (well, no shit), but it can help you be better informed when developing systems to make your life more functional.

For example, having things you need to do a task close by on hand. By having a small trash can on my desk, compared to just a bigger bin on the other side of my room, I no longer pile up trash on my desk forever before throwing it away once I run out of room.

In regards to medication, if you've managed to make it this far and hold down a job like me, you're likely to be prescribed some short acting medication to start for days you really need to get things done.

I have inattentive type ADHD and I take Ritalin 10mg only on days I need to either get a lot of work done, or when I have long meetings to attend because I struggle to stay awake when I'm unengaged.

Before this was all suggested to me, I honestly thought I was narcoleptic because I was always such a sleepy person when I'm bored. It took having a mutual friend get diagnosed for my partner to realise similarities, and then me getting diagnosed to realise that the friends I attract tend to be "different" themselves.

My parents continue to refuse to acknowledge that I'm anything but neurotypical, which had made my younger years a lot harder than I wished it could've been.

The diagnosis just helped me be more aware about the specific challenges I have to face, like task paralysis, or the compulsive filling in I do when a friend pauses too long in the middle of a sentence, or how I struggle to remember things when I get distracted. The ADHD was always a part of you, but now you can find life hack tips that actually work!

Best wishes, from a fellow late-diagnosed person :)

[-] Leilys@lemmy.dbzer0.com 11 points 1 year ago

The madlads! (I'm sorry I had to)

[-] Leilys@lemmy.dbzer0.com 12 points 1 year ago

As an 8 year old without much of a guide at all, I was a very proud Magician on MapleStory... one who dealt violence with her trusty magic wands and staves... physically.

I didn't understand what skills and hotkeys were until several years down the line when reading comprehension and life experience improved.

[-] Leilys@lemmy.dbzer0.com 9 points 1 year ago

It's sunk cost fallacy, skinner box loops and more. It starts out fun, somewhat enjoyable. Then eventually it turns into a slog, and grind and you lose sight of why you even find it fun to begin with.

By then you'd be hundreds or thousands of hours in, and you end up commenting about your crappy experience here, I guess.

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So, I had a really weird train of thought.

In the Ten Commandments, it says to honor your father and mother.

In too many societies, it means that (not all, but still too many) parents feel an entitlement that they can treat their children and grandchildren like crap and still be honoured and served because they gave them life and are their parents/elders.

So, this means parents don't necessarily respect their children, and the children who aren't respected would continue the cycle, respecting their kids less than they were respected, because they're now the parents.

And so on and so forth, which could possibly tie into how the rate of mental health issues are growing (generalising the increased awareness mental health has now).

I understand that this can be easily debunked, and there's more nuance to all of this. But for people who come from "traditional families", I'm curious to hear what you think.

[-] Leilys@lemmy.dbzer0.com 9 points 1 year ago

I think I find it a bit harder to find exactly what I'm looking for on Lemmy for support and help on various topics. So, it's good and bad. When it becomes easier to search for content Lemmy will definitely improve on that front.

I'm still discovering new instances every day and it has been a much more slow paced browsing experience due to load times and the frequency of new content.

It's definitely a different (but in no way worse) experience to what I'm used to on Reddit, but there's a whole lot less upsetting content (like personal stories of abuse and such) that show up on Lemmy, so I think it's been better for my mental health, even if I feel a bit less connected to the internet than before.

And let's be fair, it's probably for the best.

[-] Leilys@lemmy.dbzer0.com 58 points 1 year ago

How prevalent alcohol culture is in the West. I'm Southeast Asian and it's more common for us to drink sugary drinks and have food at the local corner restaurant at night instead of having alcohol when we spend time with friends.

When I studied in the West, it really struck me how the only place you really could hang out at night was the bar, and alcohol was often the preferred drink. And they normally closed at 12am, so you can't even stay out that late.

Personally I'm not very fond of inebriation just due to the issues it creates (not that my friends were alcoholics and got blackout drunk every time we hung out), so I found it kind of bad that it's so socially accepted to see a need to get drunk in order to tolerate socialising with friends.

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Leilys

joined 1 year ago