McDonalds employee:

I'm sorry sir but we don't carry Frosties. That's Wendys. I can get you a McFlurry instead?

Me:

You mean my dad got his balls mangled and stomped on and tied in a knot like a Christmas bow for nothing?

I like her "7/0 ❤️se" tattoo.

When will the videogame industry finally have the courage to design a female character with no depth and huge breasts?

Maybe I've been looking at dating apps the wrong way all along. I have no interest in using them for dating, but I really hadn't considered what a good platform they are for making strangers listen to your unhinged rants.

Ranking street performers in order of hotness:

• Musician: 1/10, enough said.

• Statue Person: 2/10, I fear them but idk maybe that fear is more about me than them and I should probably be more open-minded.

• Clown: 5/10, it depends on their balloon animal game. I wouldn't have sex with the dudes in Kiss, for instance, because they seem like the types of clowns to make a dog with a long neck and call it a giraffe. I can't respect someone like that.

• Dance Troupe: 7/10, pretty hot but they lose a few points because there's always the guy with the megaphone spitting one liners at you while they dance and I think they're a package deal.

• Mime: 10/10, call the volcel police because I'm turning myself in. When they put me in that invisible cell, tell my wife I love her but she should have applied to mime college.

I once watched in horror as my old roommate boiled up some plain ground beef, poured it into a spaghetti strainer, took the spaghetti strainer over to the couch and ate the ground beef out of the spaghetti strainer sitting in his lap. He kept going "ow, goddammit!" as the hot grease seeped out and then dabbing his crotch with a dirty paper towel.

Lauren Boebert gives me that same sort of vibe.

You don't think we care about Hawaii, huh? Then explain how a native of Honolulu got elected president. Next thing you'll tell me this country has a racism problem, to which I will again point to Obama.

You know what country never elected Obama? Racist China. The very racist Chinese are trying to take Obama's homeland because they hate your faded bumper sticker from 2008.

I keep trying, but they keep the server too high up for me to reach.

Everyone knows Corgi only does those weekly check-in threads to screenshot your problems and then post them in the dunk tank. And the cuddle puddle? Lie with the dogs and you're gonna get fleas... It's literally biological warfare.

(Love you, Corgi)

Everyone talks about it like it was a big one, but the subreddit was home to so many different nominally leftist tendencies and a lot of the more reactionary elements needed to be purged before this community could become what it is now. Can you imagine this place if it were full of bad faith devil's advocates in every thread about trans issues?

So that's why I view that struggle session as necessary. It served as a honeypot that lured all of the most bigoted users into exposing themselves at once. It's also a moment in our history that we can point to and say that this issue has already been definitively decided. We support trans people here, end of story, and anyone who doesn't like it can eat a quick ban without a second thought. On any other forum you'd get endless relitigation and cliques arguing that their buddy's ban was undeserved, but here? Crab party, baby. No drama, no arguing - just crabs.

You've found your people. Welcome to the team.

That's fair, but the thing is... the strategy sort of worked for us the first time around. It worked so well that we got kicked off of Reddit despite being one of the largest and fastest growing communities, and we owe that growth to good old fashioned cyberbullying.

The important thing to remember is that nobody on hexbear punches down. If you come in with a bunch of dumbass takes then you're going to get dunked on, but nobody is going to misgender you or call you an autist as an insult while they do it. Most people who get called out on here deserve it, and if not, you can bet I'll be making an ass out of myself by defending that person until they inevitably say something that makes me regret it.