So there's lots of good advice here for actually solving the problem, but I'm going to propose the alternative:

This is unironically the current state of the ISS, and maybe it's worth it to let art imitate real life in this case, at least until it deorbits next(?) year.

So, no... but also yes.

You're correct that it's unlikely that the device connecting to the network would be able to reach the outside Internet, but it would still be able to reach any local resource to itself, which is to say any other device which is in its network segment and also in the same state (DHCPless) that it is, via what's referred to as a link-local address. These are in the 169.254.x.x/16 or fe80::/10 space and allow devices to self-assign addresses independent of upstream connectivity for communication on the local network segment. Usually, these aren't useful, but these address are consistent, and can be used to directly contact known local hosts from your machine without DHCP. As to whether or not they can reach upstream hosts in this state, the answer is 'probably not', but that's not the same as what you said.

That's what the headline was about?

At least in this case, most TSAs are intentionally trying not to see those

I am Jack's complete lack of surprise.

DNS being down is why the DHCP server didn't start ;)

And no matter what happens, ticketmaster loses.

That is not what that means, it means there's no dhcp on that network segment.

That this has all of a sudden occurred, and so consistently, is in some ways more frightening than the headlines on their own.

For parody it would have to be untrue, yes?

Even if it's obvious, it's still important to say

Good luck UK nerds.

I just want you to know, we're all counting on you.