I want to see him in jail. Death is too good for him.

I used to take my twin daughters to the park and we would have daddy day while their mom was at work swing shifts.

We had pizza at the park, and it worked out because changing their diapers on a shitty blanket was easier than fumbling around on a bench since no one thought to put a diaper tray in any of the men’s restrooms.

Had the police called on me a few times. Never did they take the call seriously after showing up. One female officer told a Karen that she is annotating this as a fraud call because anyone with half a brain would realize it’s a dad eating pizza with his kids rather than a kidnapper molesting children in public.

Mom changes a diaper? No one cares.

Just wait until Grindr pulls out of red states. GOP already helped destroy Craigslist, so now the only place they can meet the cute boys will be at GOP conventions and family reunions.

Starfield is Todd Howard making his Homer Simpson car. It’s a pile of shit no one wanted.

We are required to show up one day a week, but my employer usually buy breakfast and/or lunch. It’s a decent meal, not a shitty half slice of pizza.

None of us dress up. Not the bosses, the lawyer, no one. We sit in the conference room looking like it’s finals weeks. No one cares, and we get more done.

They replaced their management, who were mostly engineers with MBA’s, to business majors with MBA’s who worship Jack Welch. The IQ in the room plummeted as the ghost of Welch demanded sacrifices for short term gains so they might one day get their golden parachute.

Yes. They are about to assault their local Dollar General, establish some freedom, and then go home before they are outed for faking fibromyalgia.

My first real dose of “these people fucking lie” was when we were sent to New Orleans after Katrina. We had just gotten off a deployment, almost no equipment except our weapons, and we took a tour bus there because I was told “get there however possible”.

It turned from a humanitarian mission to a full on disaster en route, and our mission changed. While down there, we were shot at multiple times, received almost no aid until big army showed up, and protected what remained of the city. Three cops stayed, that was it. I know, ACAB, but these guys were there to genuinely help the people while the rest of their department hid. They were so happy to see us grunts.

People took pot shots at us, we ended up commandeering a NG “Base” (no idea what their building was called) and using their vehicles. We returned fire a few times, but didn’t treat it like OIF/OEF. Usually a couple shots back made whomever was feeling froggy leave.

Then we hear the general talk about it upon getting home. “No one fired a bullet, not one service member took fire. It was a great help!” Mother fucker, no. We had hillbillies driving to our checkpoints wanting to come into the city to shoot black people (their words, although they used slurs that I had never heard) Mexican standoff style when we told them to leave, and then shooting over our heads when they got down the road. It was a ridiculous sequence of events.

Generals: “Nothing happened and we all gave hugs!”

Have a buddy that switch to chemical from mech, and he likes talking a lot of shit in college.

Now he helps design food processes in factories. Said it’s hell, he got to look at the peanut butter and chocolate for Herseys and he can’t stick his fingers in the vat. The horror.

If Trump gets elected, she will get a seat on the SCOTUS.

I get around $400/mo from the VA for being exposed to toxic chemicals that will lead to me having cancer in the next ten years.

Pretty good trade off, let me tell ya!

My son (5 y/o) walked into my office and said “dad! I brought you something”. I assumed it was a piece of Easter candy because he had a hand behind his back. I asked him what did he have.

He turned around, let out a huge fart, and said “Fooled you!” Then he put on his cowboy hat and walked out of the room.

Yep, gottem.