I think the biggest issue isn't letting kids use a tool, it's getting kids to do the work.
I recently worked with a bunch of kids in college, all stem majors, who couldn't Google effectively or do basic math in their heads. It's not a matter of "don't let them use a resource" it's that many people won't try.
Limiting technology isn't cruelty, it's vital for learning many skills. Number sense can't be taught by a taking a picture and writing an answer.
I'm going to disagree with you. I have found it takes less to make me happy as I get older. Moreover, my happiest moments are those where others are happy. I take no pleasure in harming others and I don't believe that's a unique perspective.
I think your coping mechanisms have made your life more difficult.