TarantulaFudge

joined 1 year ago

One thing I appreciate about polyamory is that you learn to love on new ways from different people. It can really improve the way you show appreciation for existing partners. The different perspectives, tastes in music, hobbies etc open up a whole world to me that would be otherwise unavailable.

There is so much more but I don't want to write a wall of text lol

[–] TarantulaFudge@startrek.website 1 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

When it rains it pours. I'm sorry that you had a rough time. Breakups do tend to cause some fallout and that's not uncommon.

A good way to insulate yourself is to date outside the polycule whenever possible and avoid dating people's support structures (friends/family). Set some realistic boundaries for yourself. For example, I know sharing multiple partners with the same person is hard for me so I choose not to do that.

[–] TarantulaFudge@startrek.website 3 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

I think there are a lot more younger inexperienced people trying various types of polyamory. Probably leads to a lot of mistakes and bad taste in people's mouths... I've found that most people under 25 don't really know what they want. I've also noticed that younger generations tend to be partnered super early in school and don't really know how to be alone. Even to the point of taking fake relationships just because that's what everyone else is doing.

There are always gonna be shitty people, monogamy or no. Some people take advantage of polyamory as an excuse to ignore ethical responsibility. I always preface that I practice relationship anarchy that looks a lot like ethical polyamory (even though polyamory is already supposed to be ENM).

People seem to think that polyamorous people are always available. One of my partners has this problem but I personally enjoy watching them rip ignorant people a new asshole.

[–] TarantulaFudge@startrek.website 30 points 5 months ago (2 children)

I feel like the wide and often free availability of narcan and improved quality of safer drugs like weed are making a difference.

I'm sorry that you had a rough time. It's okay to feel jealousy and it can be a great tool of change when you are feeling unfairly treated. Sometimes it's really hard to walk away. I spent six months in therapy trying to work up the courage one time. Going forward, you'll be able to make more informed decisions about what is right for you.

There are a lot of ways to do polyamory. It takes two to define a relationship together. I'm a big fan of RA and ethical polyamory. With the right communication, everyone can get what they want and be a primary partner. I go out of my way to make sure I'm meeting the needs of the people I love.

I imagine you could cut as many corners as you like but eventually somebody is gonna want pineapple lol

I usually try to date outside the polycule but I can't keep up with everybody and it is really funny when this happens. It can be truly small world sometimes.

Sorry to revive old thread, but there's people here who want to talk and wanted you to know that. I'm sorry your first experience with polyamory was not a good one (or maybe it is now idk).

+1 for decentralized or federalized services gonna plug matrix here I've used it for 5 years avoid using matrix.org homeserver

I added whisper and have never looked back. Sometimes it's not exactly right but it's usually obvious and funny 🤣

I've been really enjoying prodigy and wow season 2 really kicked it up a notch! Loving all the Janeway action. Lots of good Voyager characters too.

[–] TarantulaFudge@startrek.website 17 points 7 months ago (3 children)

There's no way a judge is gonna allow this. Outrageous. The language is way out of scope.

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