TheReanuKeeves

joined 2 weeks ago
[–] TheReanuKeeves@lemmy.world 2 points 7 hours ago

I've always been interested in the business side of beekeeping, do you rent out for pollination and is it worth doing?

[–] TheReanuKeeves@lemmy.world 5 points 7 hours ago* (last edited 7 hours ago) (1 children)

It's human nature to act like you're in a really bad horror movie when you're crunched for time.

Wake up and spill your glass of water

Put your underwear on backwards and don't notice until you're fully dressed

Drop the toothpaste cap down the drain

Need to poop but constipated

Make a mess putting together your smoothie then drop it on the floor when you're done

Put your shoes on and realize you don't know where your car keys are

Find them in the freezer beside your dead parakeet you plan on burying later

Drop the keys locking your front door

Drop the keys unlocking your car

Drop the keys between your seat and centre console, but it's ok because you have a push to start

Hit every red light

Stuck behind legally blind geriatrics the whole drive

Get out of the car and spill your coffee

Close the door and remember your keys are still in the devil's crack aka between the seat and centre console

Scrape up your hand reaching into the crack and accidentally wipe blood on your white dress shirt

15 minutes late for work but it's ok. You remember you were fired last week for being chronically late.

[–] TheReanuKeeves@lemmy.world 2 points 8 hours ago* (last edited 5 hours ago)

I looked into genetic factors of centurions out of curiousity before and it does largely seem to be nature rather than nurture. Centurions tend to have siblings that are also centurions, both of whom typically have overactive telomerase enzymes. Apparently some type of enzyme that prevents aging of cells. Theoretically, if those same people avoided alcohol and cigs their whole life, they would have lived even longer.

[–] TheReanuKeeves@lemmy.world 2 points 9 hours ago

I once asked a christian why god would allow so many people in positions of power within the church to commit sexual assault on children. His response was "well they got caught didn't they?". If that ain't some braindead cult logic then I don't know what is.

[–] TheReanuKeeves@lemmy.world 1 points 9 hours ago* (last edited 9 hours ago)

You're treathbaking! You're all treathbaking!

[–] TheReanuKeeves@lemmy.world 4 points 9 hours ago (1 children)

Side note, I creeped your profile a little bit to make sure you would understand my humour, and clearly you did because you sent me the "I want a hot dog now" emoji. And I noticed you responded to someone who said Reanu Keeves was the most creative name they've seen and now I'm paranoid

[–] TheReanuKeeves@lemmy.world 12 points 9 hours ago (3 children)

Ya seriously, if you have enough structure to your poop you won't need to scoop. You can pull them out like when you make a small cut just big enough for 1 wiener in a pack of hot dogs to limit oxidation.

[–] TheReanuKeeves@lemmy.world 4 points 10 hours ago

You obviously left out the part about how you OD'd on cake then fell down the stairs like the addict you are. Pathetic

[–] TheReanuKeeves@lemmy.world 5 points 11 hours ago* (last edited 11 hours ago)

I had the reverse experience. I was in school for finance and I had a roommate that recently graduated with an engineering undergrad. They decided to do a masters in finance because they thought it would be easy. They dropped out after 1 week and said "I have no idea what they're talking about" like no shit buddy lol

[–] TheReanuKeeves@lemmy.world 1 points 18 hours ago

I can't see it as anything other than a logical fact. If you are alive, you will ineveitably face loss, disease, countless other things outside of your control. The phrasing I read was "to live is to suffer" which is the same in the end.

[–] TheReanuKeeves@lemmy.world 5 points 18 hours ago

I just had to google what a substation was. My initial guess was that you made subways lol.

 

As a not quite middle aged dude, I only just now figured out how to see magic eye stuff. I tried a couple times in elementary school but didn't get it so I stopped. Had a few drinks earlier, stumbled on some magic eye pic that I could see clear as day and it blew my mind a little

 

A nice roasted duck gets my mouth leaking like an old galvanized pipe that you didn't realize was rotting from the inside out

view more: next ›