dingus

joined 3 years ago
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[–] dingus@lemmy.world 2 points 1 hour ago* (last edited 49 minutes ago)

I am worried about it. But there's nothing I can do, really. It's scary. That's ok. People telling you to not be concerned with death or that they are glad they will return to the earth or some bullshit can continue to eat their false hope. I'm not interested.

It's a valid fear and worry.

Everyone should fear death. It's what keeps us doing smart things like looking both ways before crossing the street or not drinking random containers of suspicious liquid. It's healthy to fear death to a degree.

The question is that is this impacting your life in a significantly negative way? Is it causing daily intense distress? Is it causing you to become a shut in and not leave your home? Then it's worth addressing.

If it's not significantly negatively impacting your quality of life, then there's nothing that needs to be changed about your viewpoint.

I started fearing death more than ever a few months ago. I chose to do maybe what the opposite of what my fear told me and I learned to ride a motorcycle. So I'm still out here living life.

[–] dingus@lemmy.world 1 points 1 hour ago

Only on very very very rare occasions. Typically from watching sex scenes on TV and in movies. And I only very rarely watch shows with sex scenes anyway (not because I'm trying to avoid them...just because they don't tend to show up in most media I consume). Tried porn but it doesn't do it for me. When I've tried to do something about the feeling to see where it takes me, it unfortunately has just never led anywhere. I don't generally view people that way outsode of TV/film. I guess my brain doesn't spontaneously come up with themes like that outside of TV and film. I've always been curious to see how MDMA might affect someone like me.

[–] dingus@lemmy.world 3 points 15 hours ago

I wouldn't say it's necessarily totally unhelpful. I have extreme emotions and would get frustrated about it, but I recently learned to look at them a bit differently. Emotions are like data. They are signaling something to us. In this case, they signaled something that OP analyzed and then wanted to talk about. Negative emotions tell us that something doesn't line up right and we need to look at why.

Some of us unfortunately just have the intensity of that dial turned up to 11. Makes for some hairy scenarios sometimes lol.

[–] dingus@lemmy.world 2 points 23 hours ago (2 children)

If you just randomly wanted to know everyone, I'm also an outlier from the opposite pole of the spectrum lol.

For my it's maybe several times a year when I get curious enough to try. Never has worked out tho. I always compare it to that to me it probably feels like what touching your elbow is like. It just feels like my body and nothing "good" or interesting happens when I try. It's like someone forgot to hook up my wiring or something. Always been this way.

[–] dingus@lemmy.world 1 points 1 day ago

I will say that I tried an SSRI once before (but not Prozac), and honestly I don't know that I would have done it again if I knew the withdrawal gets that frustrating. I even went off the way my provider told me (and even a tad slower), so it wasn't like I went cold turkey or anything. Luckily on my worst day it was a weekend so I had off of work but goddamn.

I don't understand why Prozac seems to have fallen out of favor. Significantly reduced withdrawal symptoms seems fantastic.

[–] dingus@lemmy.world 1 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

I agree with the other person... medication isn't one size fits all. I'm taking a medication for reasons that seem to be "off-label" usage after trying several different ones. If you feel like your medications aren't helping to tackle the main issue, then it's best to talk to your provider(s) about it.

That being said, mental health medications aren't magic. And there's never going to be something out there that solves everything. The right kind of therapy modalities with the right type of therapist(s) can take you further in particular areas that you're struggling with.

Like with anxiety, for example. It's such a broad as fuck category. You can try throwing meds at it, sure. And they may help to a degree. But do said person's anxieties typical revolve around particular themes? In that case, targeting these themes with therapy is going to be helpful and is not necessarily treated the way as someone with other types of anxieties.

Someone with trauma based anxieties/reactions may respond to different types of medications and treatments versus someone with performance based anxieties for example.

Neither of the ones you mentioned are ones that I've tried so I can't unfortunately give my experience with them. Have you been on them long?

[–] dingus@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago

Such is the struggle of being hydrated. Tbh it's one of the reasons I can never see myself become a "hydro homie".

[–] dingus@lemmy.world 5 points 1 day ago (2 children)

You know another big thing I learned that a lot of people probably don't know is that a lot of cats just like flat out...don't drink water for some reason? Most of us are used to any given animal drinking water when thirsty. But a lot of cats just like... don't. I guess a wet food diet helps a lot with this because it's got water in it. Sure it's a little bit more hassle and expense over dry food, but not that much. Def gonna keep my guy on wet food for the rest of his life.

[–] dingus@lemmy.world -1 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (4 children)

Ok. Your experience is valid. But you have to admit that what happened to your cat was an uncommon scenario and it is flat out just not going to happen like that a majority of the time. The person you responded to was not calling you out directly for speaking on your experience.

[–] dingus@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

I did not know that about benzene.

What I will say though is that sunlight is carcinogenic. Cancer of all types has always existed, but we're better about detecting it and treating it nowadays.

The reason why skin cancer is so much more prevalent now is because things like tanning and spending time in the sun are more popular in the western world than they were ages ago. People long ago used to physically shield themselves from it (before sunscreen). Asian cultures actually retained the desire to shield themselves from the sun. Whiter skin is more desirable in these countries, so people avoid tanning.

Long ago in the western world, whiter skin used to signify wealth. Farmers and day laborers would get tan tending the fields and such. So if your skin was whiter, it meant you could afford to be inside while people were doing physical labor for you.

Now in the western world, it's the opposite. Since most jobs nowadays are in the office, having tanner skin signifies having more wealth as you have more free time away from the office to sit in the sun.

In very ancient hunter gatherer times, I'm not sure that recreation was much of a thing. People likely tried to shield themselves from burns and such, but who knows. In ancient hunter gatherer times, you'd likely die of infection or malnutrition before cancer anyway.

Edit: Altho to be clear, I'm not saying that no sun is good either lol. Sun is actually super important for certain things like vitamin D! It's just that it's also carcinogenic!

[–] dingus@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago

I really should get back into doing this, but I live in such a hot and humid climate that this means death unless I get my ass up before dawn lol

[–] dingus@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago (2 children)

That sounds like a blast, but you really should put on sun screen!!

 

Hi all. Noob here back again. I got the screws out of the front master cylinder, but I have been having a different problem.

When under higher RPMs, the bike gives off a VERY strong fuel smell. It's still noticeable at lower RPMs, but not as bad. It didn't do this initially when I got it a few months ago, but I didn't ride it much initially.

Bike is a 2017 Honda Rebel 300. Fuel injected. No carb.

I noticed that the gasket to the gas cap was a bit cracked and distorted so I got a new gas cap. Didn't resolve the issue.

There are no visible leaks anywhere that I can tell.

The smell is very strong around the gas cap and engine, not so much the tailpipe. The bike seems to run great otherwise.

Unfortunately, googling seems to show this as a very nonspecific issue, so I'm a bit lost as to where to begin. I'm a huge noob when it comes to mechanical things.

Thanks!

 

Hello. I'm a new rider who recently purchased a ten year old bike. I have ZERO mechanical know how, but decided that I wanted to learn.

So far I managed to take both the front and rear wheels off to get the tires changed and I managed to change the oil. Since I am unskilled, it took a LOT of fumbling through these to get things going...including breaking some nuts (rear axle nut was stuck and I originally only had a 12 point socket) and bolts (overtorqued an oil filter cover bolt despite using a torque wrench) and buying replacement ones.

Since the bike is 10 years old, I know that all of the fluids need to be changed. I feel comfortable attempting the actual change for the brake fluid from my research EXCEPT I don't want to irreparably damage this area. The front brake works fine, but the sight glass is totally clouded and opaque, so I cannot visually check the condition or level of the fluid.

These are JIS screws and I have purchased replacement screws. Any advice here? Please consider my novice skill level lol.

I bought some screw extractor bits but do not have an impact driver. I have some JIS screwdrivers, a hammer, a regular drill, penetrating oil, and replacement JIS screws.

Thanks!

 

Hello all. I've always been a digital clock user, but I am trying to get myself used to reading an analog watch.

For the most part it's fine, taking me several extra seconds over digital so far.

But one thing I am struggling with is discerning the exact minute. Because the minute hand slowly moves over time as opposed to ticking, I have trouble telling whether or not it's say...9:22 or 9:23 for example.

Because when the time is say...9:22 and 5 seconds, the hand will clearly be on the 9:22 mark. But when it's 9:22 and 45 seconds, it looks like it's actually 9:23 when it isn't yet.

Is this just always a limitation that I'm stuck with using analog? How precise are you all with analog clocks? Is there a way I can more quickly determine the exact minute?

Thanks!

 

cross-posted from: https://lemmy.world/post/33516635

Hi all. Hope this is allowed here. I've been toying with the idea of getting a cat for the past several months now. I've actually never really interacted with cats, though. I don't even know if I'm allergic to them. I visited my coworker a couple of times and one of her cats rubs up against my leg to either greet or mark me and then goes elsewhere.

Some info on me:

  • Early 30s, lives alone, works ~40 hours a week in a NON wfh job (so I will not be home for significant portions of the week)
  • I do not have much of a social life, so most of my time outside of work is spent at home
  • I am very comfortable financially to own a pet. I frequently pay vet bills for my mom's dog who has ailing health.
  • I own my own place, ~1200 sq ft (111 sq m), and do not plan to leave any time soon
  • I do not plan to move, have a partner, or have children
  • It is impossible for me to ever wfh with my career and I do not want to change my career
  • I am familiar with taking care of dogs, and took care of my mom's dog on my own temporarily for 1 year without issue
  • I am only interested in owning a single pet, not two (I know people frequently get 2 cats to keep each other company)
  • I am interested in an adult cat, not a kitten
  • I don't do lengthy traveling, however I frequently visit my mom (and vice versa) for a couple of days at a time

One big important thing to note is that my mother and I take turns visiting each other every couple of weeks. It involves us traveling a couple of hours by car and then one of us staying with the other (either my place or my mom's place) for 2 days. My mom has a dog who is quite old and has ailing health, so I'm not sure how much longer she will live. Her dog is a small dog ~15 lbs, but is not necessarily great with other animals. She is ok with other dogs if they do not antagonize her, but I don't know if she would fight with a cat or not as she has never met one. Her dog also has bad separation anxiety. I have enough rooms in my house that I could separate the cat and dog when my mom visits, but idk if that is a ok or not. It also means that I might leave a cat home alone for a couple of days when I visit my mom. I have read that people can do this with cats, but I don't know if it is a good idea. I would plan to purchase pet cams, auto feeders, etc.

I still haven't had the balls to go down to the local Human Society and ask them about cats and cat adoption, but I don't know. I am thinking about going there tomorrow. Is my situation too complicated for me to have a cat? I feel like mentally it would be nice to have a companion to come home to every day. One of the reasons why I've never bothered to look into getting a pet is because I live alone and don't work from home and because my mom and I visit each other. Although I have experience with dogs, it seems like a cat might be more doable for my life situation.

Would this be too poor of a life for a cat?

Thanks for your time, all.

83
... (lemmy.world)
submitted 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) by dingus@lemmy.world to c/cat@lemmy.world
 

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First, don't tell me that the answer is just to "not bottle things up", because that's objectively incorrect too. Society doesn't want you to have any negative emotions. I need to know how to not express negative emotions at all whatsoever unless I'm alone. I know it can be done because it is done in many other people on the planet.

Edit: Ok so I think one of the things I want to try doing next is ask for a med change from my psych provider.

 

Edit: Please know that I am reading and appreciating every one of your responses. Even if I do not reply to you, I appreciate your time and want the best for you all. Thank you, guys.


I've always been the "crazy one" in any given scenario. I have been this way my whole life. Even as a child I was crazy. I would get upset and cry loudly for hours but my siblings would not. I caused problems at home for my family, especially for my mom who didn't know what to do with me. I did this as an older child, not normal toddler tantrum age. I was old enough to "know better". I did it my whole childhood.

For the most part in life, I have been able to be a productive member of society. The issues I would cause were limited to my home life and I mostly kept to myself. I sometimes cause issues by being a crazy person to my online friends, but at least that never spilled over into the "real world".

But now in my 30s I am causing such issues at work. I asked for some psych meds to be prescribed to me in March and have been taking them ever since. Doesn't seem to do anything.

I seem to get more frequent and strong negative emotions than the general population. I have difficulty controlling these, especially when I feel like someone is being mean or unfair to me or others. I think I am genetically predisposed to be this way, as my dad was a crazy person when I was growing up (but he has always been nice to me...he was only abusive to my mom). He had "episodes" too the same way I do, except his were malicious to others in nature. My older brother also has claimed to have bipolar disorder which supposedly has a genetic component.

I have spoken to mental health professionals and have been assessed for various things. I do not have bipolar disorder, autism, or OCD per mental health professionals. I tried to bring up keywords like "emotional dysregulation" to them. There seems to be no good explanation for why I am insane. I have wondered if maybe I have borderline personality disorder but have not inquired to be assessed for that one. I do not seem to exhibit the "risk taking" behaviors that are core to borderline personality disorder though.

I get frustrated that I am always the only one who is crazy and no one else is like me.

But I know there are other crazy people out there. Please, tell me your stories. How do you deal with life? How do you deal with always being different than others and feeling negative things more strongly? How do you handle things? How do you handle being and feeling alone in the way that you are? How do you handle the emotional frustration?

If this is inappropriate for here, I apologize. I just want to hear how others have managed to handle life despite this isolating "disability". I want to hear your stories. I want to gain wisdom from all of you. Thank you.

 

Hi all. I know this isn't a support community, but Lemmy is only so big so I hope it's ok if I post about this here.

I have a a Dell Inspiron 7375 laptop. The processor is a Ryzen 7 2300U. It only has integrated graphics. It was purchased new in 2018. Right out of the gate brand spanking new, it would frequently BSOD at seemingly random times, even when the laptop was not under any noticeable stress...just browsing the web watching YouTube videos or even editing Google Docs.

Most of the BSODs would state "video TDR failure", but others happened as well (don't remember them all, sorry. Dell Support was never able to figure solve my problem...especially difficult to the intermittent nature

However, I found that I could help alleviate 90% of the issue by limiting the maximum processor state in control panel to 80%".

Fast forward to today and I upgraded my setup and no longer need this laptop. I installed Linux Mint on it and find that the system will randomly freeze up until I power cycle it just like when I first got it for Windows. Ubuntu yields the same issue. I have not tried many other distros.

Again, I found out that the problem was resolved by downloading a software tool to manually limit the clock speed of the processor. However, I do NOT like the idea of relying on a random third party software tool that may eventually break.

There is no way for me to underclock the CPU in the BIOS.

The internals are not dusty and have been cleaned with compressed air.

I would like to give my laptop away to a relative and would like to keep Linux Mint on it for them.

Is there a better solution to my issue without relying on software that may stop working in the future? What would be the cause of the laptop freezing unless the CPU is limited, even as a brand new system?

Thanks all.

 

Apologies for any issues...I can delete upon request. Lemmy doesn't necessarily have a ton of communities with a lot of users so I chose this one.

I had a lot of "tantrums" as a child significantly older than that of toddler age. They weren't because I didn't "get my way" or something. They were often due to frustration...especially if I felt wronged by one of my siblings and they did not get in trouble for "wronging" me. I would scream and cry for prolonged periods of time.

The internet tells me that this isn't exactly normal and generally indicates "neurodivergence" like ADHD or autism. I do not exhibit any signs of these. I seem to be "neurotypical", no matter how thoroughly I research ADHD and autism. So what gives?

My siblings did not throw "tantrums" like this. I would get in trouble as a child now and then for doing this. Yet getting in trouble didn't make the "tantrums" stop.

Now, as an adult, I realize that the name for this seems to be "emotional dysregulation". While I don't throw "tantrums" per se anymore, my stronger emotional reactions to unfairness at work has gotten me in trouble at work numerous times. This is a bit dangerous for my job stability.

So what causes this? Why am I different? Why do others not struggle with this? What causes my feelings to be out of proportion and invalid?

I have tried bringing up the phrase "emotional dysregulation" with therapists, but they seem to gloss over it in favor of trying to look at more "standard" things like anxiety and depression.

 

About a little over year ago after not being particularly active for a number of years, I challenged myself to pick up running. I went from not even being able to run 5 minutes to now regularly being able to run 8 miles...with my longest ever run being 11 miles.

Somehow, I managed to be relatively consistent for a full year in doing this. I don't run every day, but I generally try to run 3 times per week.

Honestly, I picked up running because I was going through a challenging time. Literally everyone and their mother...every mental health professional...every internet rando...says that exercise improves mental health.

Well it hasn't for me. All running does is make me tired. I don't get a "runner's high". It doesn't clear my head of negative thoughts. I don't get any of that shit.

If I am in a bad mood before the run, the run enhances the low mood. If I am a neutral mood before the run, my mood stays neutral. If I am in an unusually good mood before the run (uncommon), the run enhances my good mood. Running itself (and all forms of exercise really) is actually somewhat unpleasant to me.

Occasionally I've read people on the internet saying that you don't get mood improvements until you've run farther. Well I've progressively run farther and farther and I've been doing this for longer than a whole ass year and not seen any discernible difference.

So what the hell am I doing wrong? I don't understand.

 

Tap for spoilerFirst, I apologize if this is too heavy of a question, so I will delete upon request. However, a thought came to me recently...

Isn't it normal for people to occasionally have suicidal thoughts and/or thoughts of self harm?

I mean, think of it this way ...every human being gets sad now and then, right? So it seems like this would be a normal effect from it. We pathologize things like this, but I'm wondering if it's just common to the human experience.

I know it sounds like an incredibly stupid question, but that's why I'm posting it here.

Before you get concerned, no I am not going to harm myself. I have a lot of really good days too and have recently seen a psychiatrist to ask some questions. I'm in a very good mood right now. So all is good here. Just had this one question. Because I realized that I've always been kind of that way when I'm in a really bad mood is all!

Thanks!

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