emily

joined 5 years ago
 

Alright so in general, this community handled this whole ordeal really well during the investigation. But now that it's closed, turning it into a "meme" is still really harmful for anyone who has been sexually abused or has gone through the process of reporting sexual abuse.

Just, keep in mind that the jokes you make may seem harmless to you, but for people who have experienced this kind of thing (on both sides), it makes the community feel less like a safe space.

Yesterday, a bunch of people on the Discord were ripping the original story to pieces in a way that almost seemed victim-blame-y. While yes, I tended to agree with a lot of what those people were saying, anyone reading the reaction would likely feel uncomfortable or unable to come forward in the community if they had experienced sexual abuse without being "ripped apart."

I didn't see that much here on ChaCha, but it's worth a reminder. So, just something to keep in mind while y'all are celebrating.

Edit: y'all this should not be considered a "hot take"

Edit2: alright this has been extraordinarily exhausting so I'm gonna just.. call it quits for a lil bit on this. toodles.

[–] emily@hexbear.net 2 points 4 years ago

that's a solid point, but consider this for a second: every word that is accepted as being, well, unacceptable was once acceptable. it starts by politely correcting someone when they say it and explaining why the language can be harmful. from there, most people will change their wording and move on. you'll always have some people who fight back, but the idea is to have enough people that using these terms is no longer the norm

[–] emily@hexbear.net 2 points 4 years ago* (last edited 4 years ago)

I feel like it's worth noting that admitting you're wrong or using ableist language is HARD, but it's part of the growing process. the fact is, at some point in time, I'd be willing to bet that all of us have used ableist language at some point and then learned why it's harmful. I'm thinking in particular about words that were "cool" to use in like, middle school or high school. or, language I used two weeks ago that I didn't know was ableist, and now I do.

There's nothing wrong with making a mistake, especially if you didn't think of it as harmful. Most people don't call someone stupid and think of it as making fun of a disability. They say it to make a point. But I'd suggest everyone reading consider this – we don't know each other in real life. You don't know if someone is struggling with something, and for all you know, whatever word you're using is the same word kids used to make fun of a comrade when they were younger, or even as an adult. Just be mindful and think about the impact your words could have on ANYONE reading your posts/comments. Think of all the slurs you wouldn't dare use and the reason you don't use them. Then think about other words that could have the same effect, but just aren't as accepted necessarily as "slurs" in general society.

Side note, making fun of someone's intelligence also suggests that someone who may have an intellectual disability or even just be neurodivergent and not think the same way you do has opinions of lesser value. While yes, you probably don't mean that with your words, it contributes to a stigma that benefits no one.

TL;DR: think about the person on the receiving end and write what you actually mean to tell them, not the insult you shout when you're mad/frustrated