NO STRAWS NO STRAWS NO STRAWS NO STRAWS

The dentist will probably tell you everything you need to know, but after having spoken to someone who had 3 dry sockets due to using straws after removing her wisdom teeth, it feels like the most important point to drill in.

My partner had a lot of soylent, fruit/veg juice, soup, apple sauce after the procedure. Get some ice cream or a shake (WITH A SPOON) afterwards if you're not nauseous - you deserve a treat. Apparently the weird ice from Sonic is really good when you get a tooth out, I've never had it lol. Good luck on your procedure, and don't delay it!! Just get it over with so you never have to think about it again. You're gonna be fine 💖

I'm not mute, but to me, using "dumb" to describe someone who is mute sounds... worse? It feels like the equivalent of recognizing that "crazy" has baggage and not using it in everyday speech, but continuing to use it to describe mentally ill people. I understand that it's not a perfect comparison, but it feels like sometimes, words become too enmeshed in their modern-day insulting uses to feel okay using them to describe a community, even if it is the technical definition of the word.

If anyone who is mute/nonverbal/nonspeaking sees this and I'm wrong - please let me know!! I don't mean to overstep, I just want to share my perspective.

Get some rest! Hopefully when you come back the mental load is lighter and things work out, but at the end of the day, none of this is more important than your health and well-being.

I get what you mean, but I disagree. As a teen, I thought I had an obligation to come out to everyone, and make a whole big announcement. It was a huge relief to hear that actually, I don't owe anyone information that would be exhausting to share and could make my life harder. It was my choice, and no one else's, and there was no timeline I had to follow.

Exactly this! I pick and choose who knows based on how comfy I am around someone. Like you, I'm bi in a "straight-passing" relationship, so many people aren't aware; my dad will probably never know unless I date a girl, or he finds out in some random way, but I just don't really care to share that part of my life with him. The older I get, the less effort I make to keep anything a secret. But I don't make a strong conscious effort to come out to people if I don't feel like it.

Hot take, but you don't actually have to come out if you don't feel like it. Or, you can come out in another way - for example, when the time comes, be like "hey, I have a [boy/girl/whatever applicable term]friend and I want you to meet them." If you still want to be out but don't feel like it right now, maybe wait a little bit and then come out to the people you're most sure will respond well.

Good luck with your journey and I hope it goes better next time. Just remember to listen to your needs and not push yourself out of any sense of obligation.

Another thing that came to mind just now - while there are often organizations and government resources for homeless people, they might not always have access to them. Trying to get a psychiatrist who takes Medicaid took me 2 entire days of phone calls to find even one who would accept a new patient, and then another 2 months' wait to get seen. I've also heard from people in my last city that they wouldn't stay in shelters because they're too unsafe and they'd rather risk sleeping outside in the cold. So, when you wonder if it might've been better to donate to an organization, well, maybe, but there will always be limits to how many people they can serve and there will always be people falling through the cracks who need help. Just some more food for thought.

1. Head empty
2. I think these feelings are normal... kind of. They are normal in the sense of, you did something that contradicts what you were taught your whole life. They are also normal because you're trying to weigh the pros and cons of a complicated issue that has no one-size-fits-all answer because every individual human is different. I can somewhat but not completely relate to these feelings, because I've lived in areas with very large homeless populations my whole life, so I don't really analyze it too much, but I get how it's different for a new experience.
3. If you can do it, I say do it. No matter what they choose to spend it on, they need money to eat and have water and eventually have somewhere to stay. Making money when you don't have a job or an address or savings is nearly impossible; saving up, or amassing things to make life easier, are both also extremely difficult, since you can lose everything at any moment. So, yes, the person may choose to use that money in a way that hurts them... IMO that's their decision to grapple with. I just know that, without any resources, they will likely be in a worse position regardless.

I also think that anyone living in that kind of situation would really appreciate kindness and dignity, which are both sorely lacking in how most people react to a homeless person asking them for help. So, even if you can't help financially, recognizing your fellow human being is a start, miles above "look away and move on".

Don't feel bad for giving someone who needs money some money. Don't beat yourself up for being unsure how to proceed. Just try to be compassionate; asking these questions is definitely a move forward, IMO.

Yes! I love being bi and nonbinary. I love that it opened me up to a huge community of people who I otherwise might not have gotten to know. I love girls and I love guys. I love sharing my love of girls with my male partner. I love being seen and accepted for who I am in ways that are comfortable for me - not trying to conform to an image of masculine or feminine, but rather, being seen as someone who is both and neither, just getting to be "some guy" and "a cute girl" at the same time.

I don't regret a thing about it; my only regret is that I didn't figure out I should do something about not being cis sooner, and that I could've gotten puberty blockers before it was too late. If I could've delayed puberty, I could avoid having to save up tens of thousands of dollars for top surgery.

The feeling comes and goes for me. Sometimes (often, tbh) it feels completely hopeless. But focusing only on the bad and not being able to find the good, or to let go of the despair, leads to burnout - as you already know - and burnout is where you can, unfortunately, get the least done.

I'm not really good at knowing how to get out of burnout. My whole life is really immersed in "the bad news", so it's hard to not be around it. I do think there's a lot of value in finding good news outlets (like Reasons to Be Cheerful or Grist's Beacon newsletter) and, contrary to how it may feel or what people might say, it is healthy to disconnect from the bad news sometimes. You have to put on your own lifejacket before helping anyone else. Do the things that make you happy and don't read the news or look at your phone, if you can.

As for doing things - it's helpful to pick an area of focus. What are you most passionate about? What's the most pressing issus to you? That's where you should put your energy, as much as you're able. That could mean volunteering, doing research and contacting your representatives, spreading the word about the issues, or finding little ways you can make a difference. My issue is environmentalism, which means that I try to focus on my individual actions as a form of self-care - buying less, buying secondhand, reducing food waste, composting food scraps, contacting my reps, spreading the word. Find your little things that you can affect; those are the ones you can look at and be proud of, and let that heal you.

For a snack, I really like just heating up some frozen edamame in the microwave. Depending on the portion size, expect maybe 1 min of microwaving; let it cool off for a few mins because they always come out boiling in my experience. Salt em with kosher salt (or regular if you don't have) and squeeze the beans out of the pod in your mouth. Easiest way to get a little bit of veg and protein, hands down.

It's not the laziest, but this one can be prepped and made in the air fryer in <15 mins and it's honestly AMAZING. Could probably be really good with some heated up grilled chicken slices for protein, too. Requires a lot of fresh ingredients so it's more of a rare treat but it's sooooo good.

Sustainability/zero-waste communities! I loved those on reddit because they were more about suggestions and practices for sustainable, low-impact living, rather than general environmental news.

Edit: also Fixing/mending! A place for things like visible mending projects.