[-] hs123@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago

i look the same. I haven‘t gained or lost any weight. And when i say i try to talk to him when we are out i am not really talking about having a talk about our relationship or anything, i tried that enough. I meant more like connecting. Sharing things and joking, laughing, that kinda stuff because he hasn‘t been sharing things with me anymore and i don‘t really feel like sharing anything with him over the phone. I tried talking so so so so often. We aren‘t getting anywhere and i don‘t want to suffocate him with it

[-] hs123@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago

probably because he was expecting me to text and call him when i got home because that‘s what we have been doing since forever. He stopped, i continued and that day i just really did not want to speak to him after he had ignored me like that for hours. It probably didn‘t have anything to do with me asking my friend for help

[-] hs123@lemmy.world 8 points 1 month ago

i understand this but he talks to his friends all the time. He will watch movies with them and play games with them, just not with me. sometimes when we call for 20-30 minutes he will be texting his friend back and forth and will respond right away when he lets me wait hours. I have experienced him depressed and i know symptoms change all the time but it was completely different. It seems like IF this is depression, i am the only person he is too depressed to interact with

[-] hs123@lemmy.world 1 points 1 month ago

i really don‘t know. From an outside perspective he seems better than ever. He started going to the barber again, has a morning routine, goes to work and has his routine. He seems happy. Of course i have asked him but it‘s always work or he doesn‘t have anything to say. It‘s 8pm in my country rn and we haven‘t spoken yet because he didn‘t have time. He doesn‘t really text me anymore when i don‘t reach out first and then he gets upset at me for not texting or calling him.

I agree with everything you are saying. I am very busy and always out. I do things i like and don’t have too much free time but i always make sure to respond to him and plan him into my day. It‘s just recently that he doesn‘t want to anymore.

[-] hs123@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago

He said a few months ago that he doesn‘t know what changed. I promise i tried to talk to him but he gives me nothing to work with. He always just doesn‘t know.

I understand that sometimes people want to scroll on tiktok and don‘t feel like responding when it‘s not that important. Sometimes it‘s not convenient to text back and i understand.

We never talked about anything like that. We also never really had an issue like this. When he needed emotional support i‘d comfort him and the other way around. I was never dissatisfied with what he gave during an emotional time.

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submitted 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) by hs123@lemmy.world to c/relationship_advice@lemmy.world

Hello!

Boyfriend and I have been in a relationship for 3 years in December. We live 1 hour and 30 minutes apart and meet as often as we can, usually that‘s once or twice a week.

My boyfriend has changed a lot this year and it has sent me down a spiral. We barely talk, even if he is home all day. When we do talk, it‘s me doing the talking. He responds to my texts maybe 2-3 hours later which usually wouldn‘t be an issue but i‘ve been with this man for 3 years and he was NEVER like this. He told me that sometimes he just doesn’t feel like responding to me anymore, which again i understand but with everything else it just bugs me. The last time we spent quality time together was maybe a month ago? when we meet we don‘t talk much and we don‘t go outside either because he doesn‘t feel like it. I feel used and i feel like my emotional needs are not being met. I asked him many times if he is okay and what‘s wrong but there is never anything wrong. He doesn‘t seem depressed either. He seems okay with all of this. I am very confused and i communicated my confusion so many times, i feel like my tongue will fall off if i do it again. When we do go outside or when we are in the car, i want to use that opportunity to talk to him because i feel so disconnected from him but he always listens to loud music in his earbuds and it makes me feel like he doesn‘t really want to speak to me anymore. It was my birthday a while back and he had nothing planned, which made me really sad because i planned so much for him. He didn‘t even get me a small cake or a muffin, nothing. He also, and i know this doesn‘t matter but it just upset me, he makes 4x as much money as me because i am a college student with a part-time job and he works full time. I got him a gift over 150 bucks and his gift was maybe 30 max? not even what i wanted and he didn‘t have it ready on my birthday.

2 weeks ago we had an argument. I was at Uni and i had a terrible day and was crying on the train back home and he wasn‘t responding to me the whole day, so i texted my friend and she comforted me and offered to watch a movie online together when i am home. So i did that. My boyfriend was upset that i didn‘t call him when i got home and didn‘t want to speak to him after. I was hurt, because i really was struggling and i don‘t ask for help often but he wasn‘t there even though i know he was on his phone because i kept seeing his reposts.

I really don‘t know what to do anymore. When i try to communicate he really seems like there is no issue at all and he is okay with not speaking to me. He also told me that he is tired from work and can‘t help it but i just don‘t understand. He talks to other friends but having a conversation with me is too much for him.

Does this sound like he doesn‘t love me anymore?

hs123

joined 1 month ago